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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment
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These plans illustrate the layout of a university's
sports
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 present time and after development.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
sports
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 will undergo massive developments
such
Linking Words
 as expanding the area and adding more facilities. The outdoor courts on the east and west sides of the
centre
Use synonyms
 will add to the
sports
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 space and will make it larger than the present.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 rejoinment, the gym is going to be larger in future.
Also
Linking Words
, on the east
side
Use synonyms
 of the gym will be a dance studio. There will be
furthermore
Linking Words
 two more changing rooms, one on the eastern and the other on the western
side
Use synonyms
 of the
centre
Use synonyms
. On the east
side
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 of the entrance there will be a cafe and on the opposite
side
Use synonyms
 will be a
sports
Use synonyms
 shop.
In addition
Linking Words
, a leisure pool is going to
build
Wrong verb form
be built
show examples
 next to the present changing room.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
location
Correct article usage
the location
show examples
 of the reception, changing room and seating area will not change in the future and they stay the same.
Submitted by Mahshad on

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task achievement
Work on making clearer distinctions between the present and future layouts. For instance, specifying which things will change or expand and in what way would make the description more vivid.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to illustrate how the parts of the sports centre connect. This will improve the readers’ ability to follow the progression of changes.
task achievement
Your essay effectively uses comparative language to highlight changes between the current and future layouts.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context of the essay, and the conclusion effectively sums up the information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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