Some adults are unable to read and write despite having access to better education. In today's modern world education is comprehensive and no one is left out of quality education. However, it is surprising that some adults still lack basic literacy skills, such as writing and reading.

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We are living in a more developed world than in the past and development will continue. But, we are studying in good places and
taking
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getting
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quality education too, there are some people who can not write and read. If we are to talk to them we may not know. They can live like us too.
However
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, they may not achieve their life goals. Considering that they have psychological disorders or similar genetic disorders. In my opinion, these diseases can be the cause. If they did not suffer from
such
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diseases they would not become illiterate. If someone has a psychological illness, the symptoms of
this
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illness are known since childhood. It is necessary to fight against the disease from the moment it is detected
,
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apply
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before it is too late.
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way
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why
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, parents of a sick child should try to treat their child. At the same
time
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time,
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the government must help them:
For
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instance
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instance,
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it is necessary to study the condition of finding them and provide financial support if necessary to control the doctor and treatment process. The treatment of
such
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a disease can be expensive and the parents may not be able to afford it, so the government must take it up. In conclusion, I say as a human, no one's child does not get sick like that. If there is a psychological illness among people, they should be helped in every way, since they have the right to live like everyone else.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow of your arguments. Consider using more transitional phrases to clearly connect your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially outside the context of psychological and genetic disorders.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on that point throughout.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps clarify your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have considered multiple reasons and solutions for adult illiteracy, showing a deep engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates empathy and a genuine concern for individuals facing these challenges, which is commendable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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