At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation #outweight

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There is no denying the fact that the population of

people

Use synonyms

has increased recently.

While

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it is held belief that some nations include a relatively huge figure of youngsters, compared to the elderly individuals.

This

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essay will discuss

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion.

To begin

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with, the growth of young adults number will be beneficial to any

nations

Fix the agreement mistake

nation

show examples

In other words

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, youngsters will develop their country in various sciences and sectors;

such

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as inventing new

programms

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

or new technology .

In addition

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, it was proven by several studies that young

people

Use synonyms

's energy is essential to build an

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

community.

Moreover

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, those youngsters set

thier

Correct your spelling

their

own terms in

life

Use synonyms

and they accept new challenges and adjustments more freely.

For example

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, young individuals who have the strength and the required

determin

Correct your spelling

determination

will be creative to face any obstacles in their

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Another point to consider, older

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

knowledge and experience

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

also

Linking Words

crucial to any society. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that, the

decresed

Correct your spelling

decrease

Change preposition

show examples

the

elderly

Correct quantifier usage

number of elderly

show examples

numbers may

involved

Change the verb form

involve

show examples

an adverse impact

Change preposition

show examples

our environment,

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

their opinions and

thier

Correct your spelling

their

life

Use synonyms

stories are substantial to avoid and learn from past mistakes.

For instance

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, older

people

Use synonyms

's perspective of

life

Use synonyms

will assist the young adults to take the right solutions in order to build an advanced community . In conclusion, despite

people

Use synonyms

having different points of view; I tend to believe that, the balance between all society ages

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

crucial to

develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

all the country sectors.

Submitted by omima7a7md on Sun Dec 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a balanced view. However, make sure that each paragraph directly addresses the task and provides a complete response to each part of the prompt. Expand your arguments to fully cover both the advantages and the disadvantages.

task achievement

Ensure to support your main points with specific examples or data. For instance, you might want to cite a real-world example of how a country benefited from a youthful population.

coherence cohesion

Your essay's overall structure is clear, with an introduction, body, and conclusion. Nevertheless, improve on linking sentences and paragraphs for enhanced coherence.

coherence cohesion

Work on expanding your ideas for easier reader comprehension. Some points can be further developed with additional detail or examples to improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

You introduced the topic well and concluded your argument effectively in the essay.

task achievement

Your essay successfully covers both viewpoints, adding depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic shift
workforce
economic growth
innovation
social evolution
curricula
health care costs
pension systems
mentorship
generational imbalance
unemployment
job markets
tax burden
adoption
development

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes in the future. Others believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Discuss the Impact of E-Money on Financial Inclusion in Indonesia!

Some sports are considered extremely dangerous, but many people still like them. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.