IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Many communities believe that the major purpose of science should be to improve human lives in order to increase the level of living for all people around the world. I partly agree with
this
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 statement since nature should
also
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 receive some benefit from science. First of all,
it is clear that
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 people's current well-being is already the consequence of many research and scientific actions.
In other words
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, almost all aspects that positively affected individual lives in recent years are connected with the technical sides of humanity's progress
such
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 as advanced medicine and developed environment.
For instance
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, many dangerous situations like COVID-19 were eliminated
due to
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 the impact of many scientists and doctors around the world.
Additionally
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, nowadays, the absolute majority of ubiquitous gadgets and facilities were
also
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 invented by accurate disciplines.
However
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, at present, nature should be treated equally because of many ecological problems
such
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 as global warming, flora and fauna population issues and other alarming sides of the general ecosystem.
This
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 is mostly because of the fact that human lives deeply depend on Earth so without a healthy ecosystem people would suffer from the dearth of necessary products and other things.
Hence
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, different scientists should
also
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 aim to save our planet
instead
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 of only focusing on humans. To illustrate, in the 21st century, an essentially dangerous virus infected coffee plants and almost led to the extinction of some species, fortunately,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 group of specially educated doctors successfully tackled
this
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 problem.
To conclude
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, it is obviously important to concentrate on facilitating
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
 well-being as it is important for the quality of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
Nevertheless
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, the community should not forget about the environment as it is an important part of the planet.

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Task Response
The introduction presents your opinion well but could give a clearer overview of the points you will discuss in your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the body paragraphs, ensure each point is fully explained and connected back to the main argument.
Task Response
Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments and clarify your stance.
Content
You provide a balanced view, acknowledging both the importance of human welfare and environmental considerations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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