These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages.

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In these times, most

people

Use synonyms

are starting to rely on the internet for communication and social interaction. More

people

Use synonyms

are starting to share their experiences and feelings without the need to travel far when there is easy access in the comforts of their homes, but these mediums

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

a physical distance and a real emotional disconnection. Socialising through the internet created a way for

people

Use synonyms

all around the world to communicate with

eachother

Correct your spelling

each other

without

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

People

Use synonyms

can access many cultures and languages just through their screens and communicate with a large amount of

people

Use synonyms

from different regions and areas without the need to worry about travel costs to any country, Which

increased

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

the knowledge about traditions and

reduced

Wrong verb form

reduces

show examples

the chance of racial discrimination.

For example

Linking Words

, if a person wants to learn about

japanese

Change the capitalization

Japanese

show examples

culture and language there are many websites available just for that need.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

having a wide range of communities ready to accept anyone is great, some

people

Use synonyms

can'

Use synonyms

have a fulfilled social need without interacting with

people

Use synonyms

real-life

Correct your spelling

real life

show examples

. Individuals need to go out and speak with other

people

Use synonyms

who live in the same area to

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

dependable relationships and friends that can be relied on if they need assistance in any circumstance.

For example

Linking Words

, You can'

Use synonyms

ask your online friend to help you with renovations or to have dinner with you, humans are naturally social and need touch-based affection just to feel happy and content.

this

Linking Words

essay

doen'

Correct your spelling

doesn't

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agree with the fact that there are more benefits to online socializing. Yes, having many online friends can be fun and help with widening

ones

Change to a genitive case

one's

show examples

cultural knowledge. But, a person needs to have real-life friendships to help with needs and hurdles they can'

Use synonyms

fix by

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

, having support from physically available friends makes a huge difference in fighting mental health problems and loneliness.

Submitted by miralaltalhi11707 on Sun Dec 22 2024

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Task Response

Ensure your argument is consistently presented throughout the essay. The conclusion slightly contradicts some points made in the essay body.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve logical sequence by connecting points more directly. For example, link how online friendships can lead to certain experiences.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear stance on the topic.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples that illustrate your points, like learning Japanese culture online.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To whatt extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

University students should learn a range of other subjects and not just one subject.

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world, while others think scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. Discuss both views!