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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the charts give information on the ages of the populations of yemen and italy in 2000 and projection for 2050. summerize and make comparision

the charts give information on the ages of the populations of yemen and italy in 2000 and projection for 2050. summerize and make comparision
The pie charts provide information about
age
Use synonyms
 distribution in two countries Yemen and Italy in 2000 and prediction for 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 which had the highest percentage in each country in 2000 is predicted to
be reduce
Change the verb form
be reduced
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 in 2050. In 2050, Yemen is expected to witness
youthful
Correct article usage
a youthful
show examples
population
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 Italy witness
ageing
Correct article usage
an ageing
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population
Use synonyms
. In 2000, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 under 15 years old took the lion’s share of the
population
Use synonyms
 in Yemen, at 50.1%.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by the adult
group
Use synonyms
 at 46.3%.
However
Linking Words
, it is predicted that there will be some changes after 5 decades when the second rank
group
Use synonyms
 in 2000 will surpass the first with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 of 57.3%, which is approximately 20% higher than the under 15 category.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the elderly
group
Use synonyms
 still remain the lowest percentage despite being predicted to grow
2.1
Change preposition
by 2.1
show examples
% in 2050.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the adult
group
Use synonyms
 was responsible for the highest
population
Use synonyms
 where
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 61.6%, which was over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the
population
Use synonyms
 in Italy in 2000. At the same time, the
population
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 of the elderly ranked second at 24.1%,
therefore
Linking Words
, the under 15 years of
age
Use synonyms
 class took the remaining 14.3%. Italy is expected to witness an alternative
population
Use synonyms
 in the next 50 years where
ageing
Correct article usage
an ageing
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population
Use synonyms
 will happen in the region as the proportion of
over
Correct article usage
the over
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 60
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 will increase to 42.3%, accounting
only
Change preposition
for only
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 4% less than
adult
Add an article
the adult
an adult
show examples
group
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the children
group
Use synonyms
 is likely to decline in 2050 and is expected to be the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 with the lowest rate, at 11.5%.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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