IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language
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Staying in a different
country
Use synonyms
 where I have to communicate with foreign individuals using their
language
Use synonyms
 can
occur
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 some major social issues and might face practical issues at the same time. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 announcement. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will talk about what kinds of situations we might face if we are outside of our
country
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 and working in different places. One particular reason is not getting attached
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 foreign people, because we don'
t
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 understand their
language
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 or their events.
For example
Linking Words
, foreign
country
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 has their own
language
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 and they can'
t
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 talk or understand other languages
neither
Verb problem
nor are
show examples
 many individuals able to communicate in English. For that reason, those who come from outside of that
country
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can'
t
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 find any way to have a good relationship with that
country
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's citizens.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they might not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to join their yearly events, because of communication
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 and good
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 field they can
also
Linking Words
 face challenges like talking with colleagues and
team
Wrong verb form
teaming
show examples
 up with them for a project, the reason behind it is that they are unable to understand their native
language
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,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 they might
failed
Change the verb form
fail
show examples
 at work.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
emigrants
Correct your spelling
immigrants
show examples
 who come to seek a job in the United States, because of poor communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, emigrants often fired from their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 they don'
t
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 understand their commands and instructions. In conclusion, it could be difficult to stay in
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
 where no one will understand your talking because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you didn'
t
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learned
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 their
language
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it could bring social
distances
Fix the agreement mistake
distance
show examples
 and work in a company where people talk in their native
language
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 and you don'
t
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 really understand what's happening, so you might lose your job at the same time.
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

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task achievement
Try to provide more clear and comprehensive ideas by organizing your thoughts better. This will help make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Connect your ideas more clearly with transitional phrases to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your response well.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples that illustrate the challenges of living and working in a foreign country.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
What to do next:
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