Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that
children
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and their
parents
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are significantly impacted by
advertising
Add an article
the advertising
show examples
of snacks and
toys
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.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisements
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to
Change preposition
for
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children
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should be banned. I completely agree
about
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with
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this
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view for several reasons
One
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On
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the one hand,
advertisements
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of
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for
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snacks have a crucial effect on
children
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for
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in
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several ways. when
children
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and
parents
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see many
advertisements
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on TV,or on social media
platform
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platforms
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like
facebook
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Facebook
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,
Correct word choice
and Intasgram
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Intasgram
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Instagram
,..they will have a
tendancy
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tendency
to try it one time for experience. Take
a pop corn
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pop corn
an ear of pop corn
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for example
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,
advertisements
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on TV with interesting images and
vivial
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viral
contents
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content
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make young people want to buy and try it even though they know it is not good for
the
Change the word
their
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health. If they
consumed
Wrong verb form
consume
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a considerable amount of harmful ingredients will cause many diseases
such
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as diabetes, obesities and other health-related problems
On the other hand
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,
parents
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and
children
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are impacted by
advertisements
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to decide to buy
toys
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in some ways. Some
toys
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are advertised with many
fuctions
Correct your spelling
functions
which can support kids to learn and play but in some cases, it can cause negative effects.
For instance
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, some games are advertised with many functions
such
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as improving
children
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's intelligence, and
children
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's focus.
This
Linking Words
will affect directly
to
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apply
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parents
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' choices. It is good for
children
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if they play for a short time,
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However
Add the comma(s)
However,
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many
children
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are immersed in playing games
and
Correct word choice
which
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affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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to
Change preposition
apply
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their mental development. In conclusion,
It is clear that
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the advertising of snacks and
toys
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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a great impact on
children
Use synonyms
and
parents
Use synonyms
. I totally agree that the
advertisingment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
should be banned.
Submitted by nguyennguyet.vcu on

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coherence cohesion
Consider clearly organizing your main points and supporting details in separate paragraphs to improve the logical flow and structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the connections between ideas by using a variety of linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to highlight your main points and arguments.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the question are addressed with clarity and depth to provide a fuller response.
task achievement
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, contributing to an organized essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • impressionable
  • pester
  • tactical advertising strategies
  • financial strain
  • consumerism
  • materialistic attitudes
  • commercial free speech
  • innovative products
  • consumer exposure
  • informed choices
What to do next:
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