Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people argue that

children

Use synonyms

and their

parents

Use synonyms

are significantly impacted by

advertising

Add an article

the advertising

show examples

of snacks and

toys

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisements

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Use synonyms

should be banned. I completely agree

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

Linking Words

view for several reasons

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the one hand,

advertisements

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

snacks have a crucial effect on

children

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

several ways. when

children

Use synonyms

and

parents

Use synonyms

see many

advertisements

Use synonyms

on TV,or on social media

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

Correct word choice

and Intasgram

show examples

Intasgram

Correct your spelling

Instagram

,..they will have a

tendancy

Correct your spelling

tendency

to try it one time for experience. Take

a pop corn

Remove the article

pop corn

an ear of pop corn

show examples

for example

Linking Words

advertisements

Use synonyms

on TV with interesting images and

vivial

Correct your spelling

viral

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

make young people want to buy and try it even though they know it is not good for

the

Change the word

their

show examples

health. If they

consumed

Wrong verb form

consume

show examples

a considerable amount of harmful ingredients will cause many diseases

such

Linking Words

as diabetes, obesities and other health-related problems

On the other hand

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

and

children

Use synonyms

are impacted by

advertisements

Use synonyms

to decide to buy

toys

Use synonyms

in some ways. Some

toys

Use synonyms

are advertised with many

fuctions

Correct your spelling

functions

which can support kids to learn and play but in some cases, it can cause negative effects.

For instance

Linking Words

, some games are advertised with many functions

such

Linking Words

as improving

children

Use synonyms

's intelligence, and

children

Use synonyms

's focus.

This

Linking Words

will affect directly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

' choices. It is good for

children

Use synonyms

if they play for a short time,

Linking Words

However

Add the comma(s)

However,

show examples

many

children

Use synonyms

are immersed in playing games

and

Correct word choice

which

show examples

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their mental development. In conclusion,

It is clear that

Linking Words

the advertising of snacks and

toys

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a great impact on

children

Use synonyms

and

parents

Use synonyms

. I totally agree that the

advertisingment

Correct your spelling

should be banned.

nguyennguyet.vcuMon Dec 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Consider clearly organizing your main points and supporting details in separate paragraphs to improve the logical flow and structure of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve the connections between ideas by using a variety of linking words and phrases.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to highlight your main points and arguments.

task achievement

Ensure all parts of the question are addressed with clarity and depth to provide a fuller response.

task achievement

The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear stance on the issue.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, contributing to an organized essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

impressionable
pester
tactical advertising strategies
financial strain
consumerism
materialistic attitudes
commercial free speech
innovative products
consumer exposure
informed choices

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?
Nowadays, there has been a controversy regarding whether economic development has supported individuals to become wealthier in both developed and developing countries or not. On the other hand, some believe that those who are living in developed countries are still not satisfied as they were in the past. This essay will explore two major reasons why people are dissatisfied and the lessons learned from this situation.
7.5
band
Some people think that children should start school very early. Some people think they should start at least when they are 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is little doubt over the fact that all parents dream of providing the best possible education for their children. This issue has sparked heated controversy with some people claiming that children should start school at 7 years old or more, while others strongly advocate that they should begin it as soon as possible. Personally, I totally concur with the former viewpoint.
6.5
band
Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these langugages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinions
Nowadays, people pursuing minimalism,even with language. Some believe that minority languages are less spoken ofand, thereforetherefore, not much use. Others believe that the government should spend money on keeping the legacy of these languages which are in danger of extinction. In my opinion, it is essential to rescue these languages.
6.5
band
These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
These days, a more divided role between parents has been frequently talked about and implemented in a lot of households. The conventional way of building a family where the husbands have the responsibility to work or make a living and the wives reside at home doing the domestic tasks has significantly changed over the years. This development has a huge impact on female by giving them a safe space to follow their passion professionally despite having marital status. Whilst, it could potentially change how the children view the part of a mother in life.
6.5
band
Reading a book is better than spending time on computers or TV. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it has been observed that a huge number of people spend their leisure time reading books. Although some prefer to spend their free time watching screens on TV or computers. I firmly agree with the second statement . My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraph and relevant examples .

Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisements to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Some people think that children should start school very early. Some people think they should start at least when they are 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these langugages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinions

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Reading a book is better than spending time on computers or TV. Do you agree or disagree?