Many young people say that mobile phones are the most important object that they own. Does the popularity of mobile phones among young people have more advantages or disadvantages?
It is
belived
by numerous young Correct your spelling
believed
children
that the mobile Use synonyms
phone
is their important possession. Use synonyms
Mobile
Add an article
The mobile
phone
has certain disadvantages as it is a potential distraction and a means of competition between Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, in the recent era, it has become an indivisible part of Linking Words
humans
lives with many advantages like Change noun form
humans'
human's
easy
of communication and as Correct your spelling
ease
an
useful tool for gaining information.
On one hand, many adolescents nowadays have their personal cell Change the article
a
phones
. Owning oneUse synonyms
,
can lead to certain drawbacks. Primarily, it can be the greatest Remove the comma
apply
sources
of distraction Fix the agreement mistake
source
due to
the gaming and social media applications available on it. These sites cause the Linking Words
children
to spend Use synonyms
a
majority of their study time to be wasted playing games and surfing on Correct article usage
the
the
Facebook and Instagram. Secondarily, having a personal Correct article usage
apply
phone
can lead to Use synonyms
a
competition between Correct article usage
apply
children
for owning a better one compared to the others. Use synonyms
This
eventually results in the Linking Words
children
pressurizing their parents Use synonyms
for buying
an expensive Change preposition
to buy
phone
with Use synonyms
the
high-end technology. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, in current times, many young Linking Words
children
are seen spending an ample amount of their time shooting and posting reels on Use synonyms
intagram
, Correct your spelling
Instagram
consequently
affecting their academic performance.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, with the developing world, mobile has brought enormous ease to human life. It is Linking Words
due to
the Linking Words
phones
, that communication with our loved ones can be done conveniently. Use synonyms
Additonally
, it helps Correct your spelling
Additionally
children
to inform their parents about the dangers immediately. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the easy access to Linking Words
internet
via Add an article
the internet
phones
helps students to clarify their doubts easily. Students can search Use synonyms
about
their desired topics anytime, which helps them to Change preposition
for
further
strengthen their concepts. Linking Words
Hence
, mobiles have become irreplaceable. For illustration, with increasing cases of Linking Words
rapes
and sexual abuse, having a mobile Fix the agreement mistake
rape
phone
with them allows the Use synonyms
children
to seek help from their parents when they experience danger.
To summarize, Use synonyms
phones
have become the most important object owned by young people. Use synonyms
Although
it has certain demerits like causing distraction to students, it can be monitored with parental control. The advantages in the field of education and effortless communication are a great boon to the entire mankind.Linking Words
Submitted by vaishnavivardekar2209 on
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task achievement
Enhance the clarity of ideas by exploring each point with more detail and explanation. For instance, you mentioned 'competition between children' regarding mobile phones; expanding on this with societal or developmental impacts would deepen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Utilizing linking phrases and ensuring each paragraph flows into the next would strengthen the coherence.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, with distinct paragraphs dedicated to each perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, neatly presenting the essay's purpose and summarizing the discussed points.
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