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Writing Samples
Band 5

The Contribution of Various Economic Sectors to Xcountry Gross Domestic Product in 2016, 2017 and 2018

#contribution #sectors #xcountry #product
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The table illustrates the percentage of
contribution
Use synonyms
 of three various economic sectors (
Agriculture
Use synonyms
, Industry, and
Service
Use synonyms
 Use synonyms accountassistancebenefitbusinessdutyemploymentmaintenanceofficesupplyuse It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. ) to X
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 gross domestic product in three different years (2016 , 2017 and 2018).
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the
service
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 had the highest
contribution
Use synonyms
 over the period given,
while
Linking Words
agriculture
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
contribution
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
contribution
Use synonyms
 from
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and industry increased,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
contribution
Use synonyms
 from
service
Use synonyms
 decreased. With regards to contributions of
Use synonyms
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
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sector
Use synonyms
, it went up from 13% in 2016 and touched the highest point of around 15% in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in the cases of
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
, it rose from 22% in the first year and
then
Linking Words
 it climaxed to approximately 30% in 2018.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
contribution
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 of
Use synonyms
service
Correct article usage
the service
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sector
Use synonyms
 fluctuated slightly beginning at 65% and dropped by a mere 1% in 2017.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 period, the figure declined to more than a fifth (55%).
Submitted by s_syedy on

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vocabulary
Consider varying the vocabulary more effectively by using synonyms and similar expressions to avoid repetition (e.g., contribution, increase, sector).
coherence cohesion
Provide clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow.
grammar
Good use of comparative language to describe differences and changes in the economic sectors.
task response
The essay clearly presents the data and gives an overview in the introduction, maintaining a focus on the key trends.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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