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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give informations on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The table and charts below give informations on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
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The data illustrates the financial income
for
Change preposition
of
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 a police department in a city within the United
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
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 between 2017 and 2018. The table shows where the money was sourced from,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
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 how the budget was spent.
Overall
Linking Words
, the national government was the main funding source for the police department in both
years
Use synonyms
. It can
also
Linking Words
 be noted that the amount of taxes that went into budgeting the police increased in 2018 compared to what it was back in 2017. Interestingly, when comparing the fraction of financial resources spent on technology between the two
years
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, a marked elevation can be noticed. Reporting on the sources of funding, the amount provided by the national government stayed relatively similar with 175
million
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 pounds in 2017 and 177
million
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 in 2018, by far the biggest contributor. The money sourced from grants
also
Linking Words
 did not experience any major changes with around 38
million
Use synonyms
 pounds in both
years
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, local tax money was the only category to see an increase, from 91
million
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 in 2017 to 102
million
Use synonyms
 in 2018. When talking about how the budget was utilised between the two
years
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, staff and officer salaries took up the biggest portion in both
years
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, but exhibited a 6% decrease in the second year.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 on technology saw a rise from 8% to 14%,
alomst
Correct your spelling
almost
 a two-fold increase,
where as
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whereas
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 the funds allocated for buildings and transport stayed the same.
Submitted by immrali7 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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