More and more people today are spending large amount of money on their complexions in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative progression?

#people #amount #money #complexions #progression

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In recent years, the number of youth spending a large amount of money on skincare and looking younger has increased.

Although

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some

people

Use synonyms

think that it is a bad experience, I firmly believe that

this

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is good practice to save

skin

Use synonyms

from the bad impacts of lifestyle and decrease the

rise

Correct your spelling

risk

show examples

skin

Use synonyms

cancer

Use synonyms

This

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essay will elucidate why I consider that

this

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trend has a good effect on health.

To begin

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with, nowadays, lifestyles are different than they were in the past.

For example

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, scientists have discovered that the amount of stress at work has increased

due to

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deadlines and working without recreation.

As a result

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, the face and

skin

Use synonyms

begin to age faster than usual.

That is

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why youth

use

Use synonyms

a lot of skincare products.

Additionally

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, the global warming problem plays a crucial role in

people

Use synonyms

's lives.

For instance

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, waste produces carbon dioxide, which negatively affects health.

Therefore

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people

Use synonyms

can get illnesses, which put pressure on the body.

Secondly

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, in the past, the number of

skin

Use synonyms

cancer

Use synonyms

cases was lower than it is now.

This

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is because

people

Use synonyms

started to

use

Use synonyms

chemicals, which ruin the atmosphere.

For instance

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, the ozone layer becomes thinner each day and cannot save

people

Use synonyms

from sunlight, which causes epidermis

cancer

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Therefore

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people

Use synonyms

should

use

Use synonyms

special products on their bodies to protect themselves.

Additionally

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, the appearance of illnesses

such

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cancer

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depends on

skin

Use synonyms

color

Change the spelling

colour

show examples

For example

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people

Use synonyms

with light

skin

Use synonyms

color

Change the spelling

colour

show examples

can get sunburned easily.

Therefore

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, they should

use

Use synonyms

SPF to protect themselves from sunburn, which increases the risk of illness. In conclusion, spending money on products that save

people

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and have the added effect of making them look younger has many benefits, like protecting the body from adverse effects and reducing the risk of

cancer

Use synonyms

Furthermore

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, looking younger plays a crucial role depending on trends.

That is

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why I do not see any negative sides to

this

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issue.

Submitted by pandatvin3 on Mon Dec 23 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a more balanced discussion by addressing potential negative implications, as the task asks for your opinion on whether the trend is positive or negative.

coherence cohesion

Provide smoother transitions between paragraphs for better flow and coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines your stance and what the essay will cover, setting a positive tone.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant examples, such as the impact of stress and global warming, to support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

complexion
anti-aging products
youthfulness
cosmetic procedures
cosmetic surgery
age discrimination
self-esteem
psychological factors
public-facing professions
beauty standards
society’s portrayal
media influence
self-image
career opportunities
ageism

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More and more people today are spending large amount of money on their complexions in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative progression?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.