With more people choosing to watch travel programs on tv and social media , fewer people will be willing to pay the costs of traveling aboard To what extent do you agree?

#people #travel #programs #tv #media #costs

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The world is very different nowadays. Some

people

Use synonyms

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

show their

travel

Use synonyms

sociomedical

Correct your spelling

social media

show examples

or other

website

Fix the agreement mistake

websites

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the internet . Most

people

Use synonyms

visiting

Wrong verb form

visit

show examples

countries by

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

air .I only partially agree with

this

Linking Words

idea . I completely agree

with

Change preposition

that

show examples

people

Use synonyms

will

be pay

Change the verb form

pay

show examples

the costs of

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

. I don’t agree with

people

Use synonyms

watching

travel

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will give information to support my opinion I agree one hundred

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

should

Correct word choice

that should

show examples

people

Use synonyms

going to show

travel

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

travel

Use synonyms

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

plane is

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

notion . Can visiting the old

tradition

Replace the word

traditional

show examples

places is wonderful .

Also

Linking Words

, can

walking

Wrong verb form

walk

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the best streets in the country to

shopping

Replace the word

shop

show examples

and

drinking

Wrong verb form

drink

show examples

coffee .

Secondly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

travel

Use synonyms

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

friends.

Although

Linking Words

we will know more

people

Use synonyms

from all over

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

. Learn new information about other

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

Finally

Linking Words

, often

people

Use synonyms

need

Use synonyms

travel

Fix the infinitive

to travel

show examples

make

Verb problem

show examples

happy . That change

air

Change preposition

in air

show examples

enjoy with new weather.

However

Linking Words

, I do not agree with

people

Use synonyms

choosing to watch

travel

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

and social media.

Firstly

Linking Words

stay

Verb problem

apply

show examples

watching things about

travel

Use synonyms

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

show examples

time .

Also

Linking Words

, that takes maybe five or six hours .

While

Linking Words

that

waste

Fix the agreement mistake

wastes

show examples

time for

people

Use synonyms

between doing important things in life .

Secondly

Linking Words

, that will

Verb problem

make

show examples

people

Use synonyms

unhealthy. stay

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time not doing any move.

Finally

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

need

Add the particle

need to

show examples

take

break

Add an article

a break

show examples

after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work .

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

after working need

traveling

Wrong verb form

to travel

show examples

with family to enjoy and take new power to

keep

Verb problem

stay

show examples

fresh . In conclusion, it is

essay

Correct your spelling

easy

show examples

to see that I support the idea that everyone should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

pay the costs of

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, I don’t agree that it choosing to watch

travel

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

and social media .

Submitted by alfred on Mon Dec 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to elaborate on your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help to make your argument stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your paragraphs more clearly. Use linking words or phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, providing a smoother flow.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss and that the conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which adequately frame your discussion.

task achievement

You have made an attempt to address both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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With more people choosing to watch travel programs on tv and social media , fewer people will be willing to pay the costs of traveling aboard To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the responsibility is with the government to control the rise in obesity in children, others think the parents are the cause. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter: – Explain why you are unhappy – Request a refund – Make arrangements to return the damaged item