Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In various nations around the world,

while

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a number of individuals believe that competition in many situations, like work, school and

also

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daily life, is a positive event others opine that society should consider cooperating more, rather than competing against each other. In my opinion, the first viewpoint contains some more inherent advantages than the second one. The first and foremost virtue of competition is financial growth in the country where people try to compete in all fields against their own citizens

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foreign persons.

For example

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, in Japan where community

raise

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has raised

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awarness

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awareness

related to modern technology

such

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AI control cars which

has

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have

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brought a huge economic profit for them and

also

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helped to decline inflation in their country

due to

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car sales

according to

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worldwide requirements.

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, the best example is that the Ministry of Education can provide a positive condition at schools

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at universities around the country in order to promote the level of learning and studying between students.

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, teachers can put the students to the exam that has a financial reward for the best one. On the flip side, some drawbacks of cooperation may be noted. The main one is that individuals who work at an office or at a company usually like to be lazy in the same situations.

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, if workers earn the same salary, they will not be encouraged to be more creative and

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accept dangerous responsibility.

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, there is not a valuable goal in trying to be better than others in

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apply

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society.

For instance

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, if you imagine a university where everyone who has any score is able to apply,

this

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academic place will not accomplish the best rate in the world because it does not have the best students. In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the argument it is not hard to see that competition contains some benefits, like economic growth and education expansion.

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, some drawbacks of cooperation merely include decreasing personal skills

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declining the quality of education surroundings.

hs.abdolhay70Mon Dec 23 2024

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task achievement

The essay discusses both views as asked, but the balance between explaining both sides could be improved by expanding more on the concept of cooperation benefits and limitations.

task achievement

Some ideas could be expressed more clearly. Consider simplifying language in complex parts to enhance understanding.

task achievement

Try providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your argument, especially related to cooperation.

coherence cohesion

Improve logical transitions between paragraphs. Ensure each supporting idea flows naturally to the next one in order to improve readability.

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking complex sentences into simpler ones to maintain clarity and avoid confusing the reader.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the discussion on the topic of competition vs. cooperation.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as those from Japan regarding financial growth and education, help to ground arguments contextually.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many people use distance-learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to study for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that family is more important than friends. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents, even after they have completed their education and found a job.