Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In various nations around the world, AI control cars which
while
a number of individuals believe that competition in many situations, like work, school and Linking Words
also
daily life, is a positive event others opine that society should consider cooperating more, rather than competing against each other. In my opinion, the first viewpoint contains some more inherent advantages than the second one.
The first and foremost virtue of competition is financial growth in the country where people try to compete in all fields against their own citizens Linking Words
as well as
foreign persons. Linking Words
For example
, in Japan where community Linking Words
raise
Wrong verb form
has raised
awarness
related to modern technology Correct your spelling
awareness
such
Linking Words
Change preposition
as
has
brought a huge economic profit for them and Change the verb form
have
also
helped to decline inflation in their country Linking Words
due to
car sales Linking Words
according to
worldwide requirements. Linking Words
In addition
, the best example is that the Ministry of Education can provide a positive condition at schools Linking Words
as well as
at universities around the country in order to promote the level of learning and studying between students. Linking Words
For instance
, teachers can put the students to the exam that has a financial reward for the best one.
On the flip side, some drawbacks of cooperation may be noted. The main one is that individuals who work at an office or at a company usually like to be lazy in the same situations. Linking Words
For example
, if workers earn the same salary, they will not be encouraged to be more creative and Linking Words
also
accept dangerous responsibility. Linking Words
Moreover
, there is not a valuable goal in trying to be better than others in Linking Words
a
society. Remove the article
apply
For instance
, if you imagine a university where everyone who has any score is able to apply, Linking Words
this
academic place will not accomplish the best rate in the world because it does not have the best students.
In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the argument it is not hard to see that competition contains some benefits, like economic growth and education expansion. Linking Words
However
, some drawbacks of cooperation merely include decreasing personal skills Linking Words
as well as
declining the quality of education surroundings.Linking Words
Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on
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task achievement
The essay discusses both views as asked, but the balance between explaining both sides could be improved by expanding more on the concept of cooperation benefits and limitations.
task achievement
Some ideas could be expressed more clearly. Consider simplifying language in complex parts to enhance understanding.
task achievement
Try providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your argument, especially related to cooperation.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs. Ensure each supporting idea flows naturally to the next one in order to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking complex sentences into simpler ones to maintain clarity and avoid confusing the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the discussion on the topic of competition vs. cooperation.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as those from Japan regarding financial growth and education, help to ground arguments contextually.