Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In various nations around the world,
while
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a number of individuals believe that competition
at
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in
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many situations, like work, school and
also
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daily life, is a positive event others opine that
people
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should consider
to cooperate
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cooperating
show examples
more, rather than competing against each other. In my opinion, the first
view point
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viewpoint
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contains some more inherent advantages
that
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than
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the second one. The first and foremost virtue of competition is financial growth in the country where
people
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try to compete in all fields against their own citizens
as well as
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foregin
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foreign
persons.
For example
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, in
japan
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Japan
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where
people
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rise
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raise
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awarness
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awareness
related to modern technology
such
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as
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AI control cars that has brought a huge
economy
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economic
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profit for them and
also
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help
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helped
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to decline inflation in their country
due to
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car sales
according to
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worldwide
requirments
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requirements
.
In addition
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, the best example is that the
ministry
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Ministry
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of
education
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Education
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can provide a positive condition at schools
as well as
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at universities around the country in order to promote the
leve
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level
love
of learning and
studing
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studying
between students. For
instence
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instance
, teachers can put the students to the exam that has a
money
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monetary
show examples
reward for the best one. On the flip side, some drawbacks of cooperation may be noted. The main one is that
people
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who work at
a
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an
show examples
office or at
company
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a company
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usually like to be lazy in the same situations.
For example
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, if workers
eran
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earn
the same salary, they will not
encourage
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be encouraged
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to be more creative and
also
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accept dangerous responsibility.
Moreover
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, there is not a
valiable
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valuable
viable
goals
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goal
show examples
to try
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in trying
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to be better than others in
a
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apply
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society. For
instence
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instance
, if you
imagen
Verb problem
imagine
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a university where everyone
that
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who
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has any score is able to apply,
this
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accademic
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academic
place will not accomplish the best rate in the world because it
has
Verb problem
does
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not the best students. In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the
argumet
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argument
it is not hard to see that competition contains some benefits, like economic growth and education expansion.
However
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, some drawbacks of cooperation merely include decreasing
of
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apply
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personal skills
as well as
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declining
of
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apply
show examples
quality
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the quality
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of education
surrendings
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surroundings
surrounding
.
Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, focus on clearly distinguishing between the opposing viewpoints before moving to your conclusion. Try to dedicate separate paragraphs to each view without quickly switching between them.
task achievement
Strengthen argument support by providing more detailed, specific examples relevant to each point made. This could include referencing studies, statistical data, or specific historical events to illustrate points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the expressiveness and comprehension of your ideas. Use transitional phrases and logical connectors to create a smoother flow and more fully develop your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which contributes positively to the overall structure of the piece.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument within your essay, which shows clear engagement with the task.
task achievement
Some clear points are made regarding the advantages of competition, such as its impact on economic growth and education expansion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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