IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that there are now too many cars on the roads and that they are spoiling our towns and cities ? Do you agree or disagree?

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Increasing in excessive
number
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 of vehicles has been a vital topic of debate.
While
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 some people think that there are numerous
cars
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 on the roads and
cities
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 that cause challenges for towns, I strongly agree with
this
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 perspective and believe that the excessive
number
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 of
cars
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spoil
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spoils
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cities
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, leading to harmful consequences. First of all, nowadays, many individuals tend to drive their
pesonal
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personal
 vehicles,
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this
Correct word choice
and this
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 trend
result
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results
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 in detrimental effects,
such
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 as
air
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pollution
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.
Therefore
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, the increase
of
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in
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 using personal
cars
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
air
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pollution
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, an environmental challenge that
cuase
Correct your spelling
cause
causes
 many problems, for both
habitat
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habitats
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 and
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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,as a whole. A prime illustration of
this
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 is the
increasing
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increase
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in
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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heart
diseases
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disease
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 challenges, a significant
number
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 of people suffer from heart diseases, which
create
Wrong verb form
are created
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due to
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air
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pollution
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 and carbon
emossions
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emissions
.
Moreover
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,
air
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pollution
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 can contribute to
konck-on
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knock-on
 effects
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that remained
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remained
Wrong verb form
remain
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 for many years.
On the other hand
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, the increase in
number
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 of
cars
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 can significantly contribute to heavy
traffic
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 issues.
Thus
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, if the government do not
impeliment
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implement
 practical
lows
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laws
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 in order to decrease
traffic
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congection
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congestion
connection
, many people will
subsequently
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 squander their time and energy on
traffic
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congections
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congestion
connections
 throughout the
cities
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.
For instance
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, in city
center
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centre
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 areas, many individuals use public
transportaion
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transportation
 rather
down
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than
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 their personal
cars
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, in order to commute in a convenient way.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 if they use their own
cars
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, they might get stuck in
a
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apply
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heavy
traffic
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, particularly during
rash
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rush
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 hours. In conclusion, it becomes clear that the excessive
number
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 of
cars
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 harmful effects on societies, leading to many challenges, so I strongly agree that these negative consequences
such
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 as
air
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pollution
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 and heavy
traffic
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 create
due to
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 the increase of
vehicls
Correct your spelling
vehicles
vehicle
 throughout
cities
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.

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task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas and providing detailed explanations. For instance, discuss more about how air pollution specifically impacts human health and environment.
language
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and typos. Proofreading your work can help eliminate these inaccuracies.
coherence cohesion
Strive for more coherence by ensuring all parts of your essay (intro, body, conclusion) are clearly connected with smooth transitions.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the essay’s main points, providing clarity to the reader.
task achievement
You provide relevant points and examples related to air pollution and traffic congestion, contributing to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your argument is generally clear, and you maintain a logical progression in your ideas from one paragraph to the next.
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