Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Provide reasons and examples for your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that nowadays there is a
trend
that the new generation Use synonyms
are
choosing to listen to Change the verb form
is
music
Use synonyms
instead
of Linking Words
news
on Correct article usage
the news
radio
. Add an article
the radio
While
it is a commonly held belief that it is a positive Linking Words
trend
, there is Use synonyms
also
an argument Linking Words
opposes
it. In my opinion, I consider that listening to Wrong verb form
opposing
music
is a harmful Use synonyms
trend
that Use synonyms
affect
the youngsters.
Change the verb form
affects
To begin
with, Linking Words
music
disconnects young Use synonyms
people
from reality. Use synonyms
In other words
songs Linking Words
depending
on Wrong verb form
depend
imagenationary
stories, which might Correct your spelling
imaginational
be
let young Unnecessary verb
apply
people
Use synonyms
to
imagine Change the verb form
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
live
in Replace the word
life
Correct article usage
the wrog
wrog
way. Correct your spelling
wrong
In addition
, children Linking Words
became
unaware Wrong verb form
become
about
what is happening around them Change preposition
of
while
they are over listening to the songs. Linking Words
For instance
, listening to Linking Words
a
Remove the article
music
a piece of music
music
will not Use synonyms
provide
what is going on Verb problem
show
the
world Change preposition
in the
muisk
will just Correct your spelling
and
waist
Correct your spelling
waste
people
's lives.
Another point to consider, Use synonyms
music
has a bad effect on Use synonyms
children
brains. It is possible to say that Change noun form
children's
music
includes sad Use synonyms
tune
or lyrics which harm kids. Fix the agreement mistake
tunes
Furthermore
, many studies Linking Words
had
Wrong verb form
have
aproved
that Correct your spelling
approved
proved
music
bad attitudes Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
on
children
critical thinking, and Change noun form
children's
also
it Linking Words
change
their Change the verb form
changes
behaivior
to be more Correct your spelling
behaviour
lonly
. Correct your spelling
lonely
For example
, Linking Words
music
influenced many young Use synonyms
people
to Use synonyms
rejects
the lives they have and to feel they are injured Wrong verb form
reject
from
their family or someone else.
In conclusion, despite individuals having different views, I tend to believe that songs Change preposition
by
is
a negative Change the verb form
are
trend
because it disconnects Use synonyms
younge
Correct your spelling
young
younger
people
from their lives, Use synonyms
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
thier
brain and badly Correct your spelling
their
change
their behaviour.Change the verb form
changes
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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, strive to present more varied and specific examples to back up your arguments. This will help in making your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by ensuring that your ideas and arguments are clear, focused, and well explained. Aim to delve deeper into the reasons why music might disconnect young people from reality.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly from one point to the next. Try using linking words and phrases to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more logically. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well connected to the overall argument to improve your logical structure.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps set the stage for your arguments and wrap them up nicely.
task achievement
You’ve addressed both sides of the argument, considering both the positive and negative aspects of the trend.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.