Some people say it is improtant to keep your home and your work place tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. write an essay and give your opinion.

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A group of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

belives
Verb problem
believe

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
that keeping our
home
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

work place
Correct your spelling
workplace

The word work place seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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clean and tidy
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and organizing the things in right places is crucial. I support
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

point of view because a
well cleaned
Add a hyphen
well-cleaned

It seems that well cleaned is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
and maintained
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

environment improves our efficiency of
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, seeing a tidy
home
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

heps
Correct your spelling
helps

The word heps doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
us to relax after a long tiring day. To commence with, cleanliness is a good habit. Everyone likes to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in a
well planned
Add a hyphen
well-planned

It seems that well planned is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
and regularly cleaned office with fresh air and light. It helps in lifting our mood at
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
be
Wrong verb form
being

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be. Consider changing it.

show examples
cheerful.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, having all the files, documents and other necessary stationery items kept in
correct
Correct article usage
the correct

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
places reduces the
haslses
Correct your spelling
hassles
hassle

If you don’t want haslses to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of finding them when needed. Eventually, it reduces the stress of the employees and improves their
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

efficiency as they waste less time
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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running around
for locating
Change preposition
to locate

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
these items.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when important folders are stored
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the correct shelves, the chances of them
gettting
Correct your spelling
getting

If you don’t want gettting to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

misplaced and ultimately getting yelled at by the boss are lessened.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the clerks working in all the government offices in India, label all the paper files and store them in various shelves
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a particular criteria for storage which helps them to not waste time when their bosses
demands
Change the verb form
demand

The singular verb demands does not appear to agree with the plural subject bosses. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
for
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition for seems unecessary after the verb demands. Consider removing the preposition.

show examples
any documents. To add on
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a house with all things lying around looks very shabby. Having a spick and span
home
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a sign of prosperity as it looks very appealing to our eyes. So, when
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

return to their
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes

It seems that home may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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after a long exhausting day at
office
Add an article
the office

The noun phrase office seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, they feel happy to be back
home
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with no litter lying around.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Thus
Correct your spelling
This

The word Thus doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
,
helping
Wrong verb form
helps

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb helping. Consider changing it.

show examples
them to relax
since
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
because they do
no
Correct your spelling
not

The word no doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
have to spend their energy
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
brooming and wiping the floors or putting
back
Delete extra word
apply

You used back twice.

show examples
their child’s toys back in the cupboard, as doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

builds up anger and frustration.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they all can relax and spend quality time with their family
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

strengthening
Change preposition
of strengthening

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their familial relationships and leading a good life. For illustration,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who have
househelps
Correct your spelling
house help

If you don’t want househelps to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

are more eager to return
home
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after their jobs in comparison to those who have to do the cleaning themselves.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fact that the latter group feels anxious to do the cleaning after a tiring day. To summarize, some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

say that it is important to have our houses and offices clean and
well kept
Add a hyphen
well-kept

It seems that well kept is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
. I agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

opinion because it
bring
Change the verb form
brings

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb bring are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
us joy and happiness
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

an improved ability to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

better and achieve our goals.

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Grammar and Formality
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct. Double-check to avoid minor errors like 'haslses' (should be 'hassles') and 'getting yelled at by the boss' (consider using more formal language).
Formality
Try to maintain a consistent use of formal language. Phrases like 'getting yelled at' can be replaced with 'being reprimanded'.
Sentence Structure and Variety
Consider revising for sentence variety to improve the flow. This can make your essay more engaging and easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a well-structured argument and logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.
Task Response
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the handling of files in government offices.
Task Achievement
Main points are clearly stated and well-developed, addressing the prompt effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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