Some people say it is improtant to keep your home and your work place tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. write an essay and give your opinion.

#people #improtant #home #work #place

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A group of

people

Use synonyms

belives

Verb problem

believe

show examples

that keeping our

home

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

clean and tidy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and organizing the things in right places is crucial. I support

this

Linking Words

point of view because a

well cleaned

Add a hyphen

well-cleaned

show examples

and maintained

work

Use synonyms

environment improves our efficiency of

work

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, seeing a tidy

home

Use synonyms

heps

Correct your spelling

helps

show examples

us to relax after a long tiring day. To commence with, cleanliness is a good habit. Everyone likes to

work

Use synonyms

in a

well planned

Add a hyphen

well-planned

show examples

and regularly cleaned office with fresh air and light. It helps in lifting our mood at

work

Use synonyms

and

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

cheerful.

Moreover

Linking Words

, having all the files, documents and other necessary stationery items kept in

correct

Correct article usage

the correct

show examples

places reduces the

haslses

Correct your spelling

hassles

hassle

of finding them when needed. Eventually, it reduces the stress of the employees and improves their

work

Use synonyms

efficiency as they waste less time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

running around

for locating

Change preposition

to locate

show examples

these items.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when important folders are stored

Change preposition

show examples

the correct shelves, the chances of them

gettting

Correct your spelling

getting

misplaced and ultimately getting yelled at by the boss are lessened.

For instance

Linking Words

, the clerks working in all the government offices in India, label all the paper files and store them in various shelves

according to

Linking Words

a particular criteria for storage which helps them to not waste time when their bosses

demands

Change the verb form

demand

show examples

for

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

any documents. To add on

further

Linking Words

, a house with all things lying around looks very shabby. Having a spick and span

home

Use synonyms

is a sign of prosperity as it looks very appealing to our eyes. So, when

people

Use synonyms

return to their

Use synonyms

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

after a long exhausting day at

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

, they feel happy to be back

home

Use synonyms

with no litter lying around.

Linking Words

Thus

Correct your spelling

This

show examples

helping

Wrong verb form

helps

show examples

them to relax

since

Change preposition

apply

show examples

because they do

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

have to spend their energy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

brooming and wiping the floors or putting

back

Delete extra word

apply

show examples

their child’s toys back in the cupboard, as doing

this

Linking Words

builds up anger and frustration.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they all can relax and spend quality time with their family

as a result

Linking Words

strengthening

Change preposition

of strengthening

show examples

their familial relationships and leading a good life. For illustration,

people

Use synonyms

who have

househelps

Correct your spelling

house help

are more eager to return

home

Use synonyms

after their jobs in comparison to those who have to do the cleaning themselves.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that the latter group feels anxious to do the cleaning after a tiring day. To summarize, some

people

Use synonyms

say that it is important to have our houses and offices clean and

well kept

Add a hyphen

well-kept

show examples

. I agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion because it

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

us joy and happiness

along with

Linking Words

an improved ability to

work

Use synonyms

better and achieve our goals.

Submitted by vaishnavivardekar2209 on Tue Dec 24 2024

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Grammar and Formality

Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct. Double-check to avoid minor errors like 'haslses' (should be 'hassles') and 'getting yelled at by the boss' (consider using more formal language).

Formality

Try to maintain a consistent use of formal language. Phrases like 'getting yelled at' can be replaced with 'being reprimanded'.

Sentence Structure and Variety

Consider revising for sentence variety to improve the flow. This can make your essay more engaging and easier to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a well-structured argument and logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.

Task Response

You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the handling of files in government offices.

Task Achievement

Main points are clearly stated and well-developed, addressing the prompt effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

422 words

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Some people say it is improtant to keep your home and your work place tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. write an essay and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.