IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadsys many people chose to be self-employed, rather than to wrk fo a company or organisation. Which might be this the case? what could be the disadvantages of bing self-employed?

#nowadsys #people #wrk #fo #company #organisation #case
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During
Change preposition
To
show examples
this
Linking Words
 day ,being a poss is the dream of
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 lot of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.alot
Correct your spelling
A lot
 of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 a
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
 in the present ,there is a list of causes of being self-employed .I will spot the light on the disadvantages of
bing
Correct your spelling
being
show examples
 self-employed.
In addition
Linking Words
,we
all
Add a missing verb
are all
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 under one roof in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, nowadays many people try hard to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 opertuinuty
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
dreem
Correct your spelling
degree
 by reach to the
indepndence
Correct your spelling
independence
independent
 level they prefer
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 away from the other
company
Use synonyms
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
 and they never care about the
sequinceics
Correct your spelling
sequences
 of
outcome
Add an article
the outcome
show examples
 .I will highlight the disadvantages of the
self -employed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
show examples
,
firstly
Linking Words
 manpower will be least
after
Correct word choice
and after
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 that they will
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to give the work to the
forign
Correct your spelling
foreign
 man the nationality will hand the
adminstration
Correct your spelling
administration
 role .for
examle
Correct your spelling
example
, a lot of
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 will looking for
forigen
Correct your spelling
foreign
 employees .
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,the chance of the
benifite
Correct your spelling
benefit
 will be
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 for the
unresidentail
Correct your spelling
residential
 people the important traditional
company
Use synonyms
 will give the majority profits for them .The
divercity
Correct your spelling
diversity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the majors will be limited in the
praivet
Correct your spelling
private
privet
 sector regardless of the
majors
Change to a genitive case
major's
majors'
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 type . in brief ,there is no problem
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
bing
Correct your spelling
being
show examples
 self-employed but
also
Linking Words
 we should think about
other effect
Change the wording
another effect
other effects
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 side
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 boring to be always
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
journy
Correct your spelling
journey
 with the same role .
Submitted by Loody on

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Task Response
The essay topic has been addressed, but the response lacks depth and clarity. To improve, focus on structuring your argument clearly and expanding on key points with more detailed explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with each focused on a specific point. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
Task Response
Ensure that your examples are relevant and well-explained. For instance, when discussing manpower and foreign employees, provide more concrete evidence or scenarios to support your claims.
Task Response
The essay acknowledges both the appeal of being self-employed and the potential disadvantages. This shows an understanding of the topic from multiple perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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