In many countreis, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
There is an ongoing discourse about whether an increase
elderly
Change preposition
in elderly
people
Use synonyms
had
advantages or not. Some argue that an Wrong verb form
has
increase
number of aging population poses risks for Replace the word
increased
government
. Correct article usage
the government
However
, I firmly believe that more Linking Words
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
people
bring several benefits Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
this
society. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will examine Linking Words
Correct article usage
the advantage
advantage
sides in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
To begin
with, an Linking Words
increase
number of aging population offers Replace the word
increased
with
opportunities to broaden perspectives. With Change preposition
apply
advancement
of technology, the world has changed rapidly ever before. Add an article
the advancement
However
, the essence of life wisdom Linking Words
such
as building empathy Linking Words
each
other is always Change preposition
for each
need
Wrong verb form
needed
for
make Change preposition
to
better
society. Add an article
a better
According to
recent research by McKinsey & Company, the executive business owner tends to prefer employing elderly Linking Words
people
compared to younger generations. Since communication skills among not only peers but Use synonyms
also
executives Linking Words
clients
. Correct word choice
and clients
While
Linking Words
younger
generation Add an article
the younger
has lack
experience Wrong verb form
lacks
of
living life, elderly Change preposition
in
people
are likely to have Use synonyms
know-how
to overcome these issues.
Change the article
the know-how
Furthermore
, spending time with Linking Words
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
people
enables individuals to relieve stress and enhance mental well-being. In today’s global era, there are many Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
who
from diverse backgrounds. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
may face communication barriers and feelings of isolation. Linking Words
However
, elderly Linking Words
people
, with their experience and understanding, can act as Use synonyms
mentor
, leading to fostering meaningful interaction. Fix the agreement mistake
mentors
For example
, intergenerational programs where young Linking Words
people
engage with elderly mentors have shown significant psychological benefits.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
wile
an Correct your spelling
while
aging
population may pose challenges for governments the benefits it Change the spelling
ageing
bring
to society. By recognizing and expanding these strengths, societies can create a harmonious environment for all generations.Change the verb form
brings
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more transition words or phrases to connect your ideas effectively.
task achievement
Focus on detailing your ideas further and ensure they are comprehensive. Each idea should be thoroughly explored.
task achievement
Although examples are provided, consider making them more detailed and relevant, to support your arguments more robustly.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You've included specific examples, like the McKinsey & Company research and intergenerational programs, which add weight to your arguments.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and potential disadvantages, acknowledging the complexity of the issue.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...