The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons

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A glance at the graph provided reveals the population of individuals who participate

for

Change preposition

show examples

various activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia over a period of 20 years, from 2000 to 2020.

Overall

Linking Words

, one particularly interesting fact highlighted by the figure is that by far the highest growth was related to the trend of table tennis from 2000 to 2020. In stark contrast, the

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

decrease

Change preposition

show examples

the rate of participants

belonged

Wrong verb form

belonging

show examples

to amateur dramatics from 2000 to 2020.

According to

Linking Words

what is shown, the ratio of people who attended film

club

Fix the agreement mistake

clubs

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

martial arts did not change dramatically over 20 years.

In addition

Linking Words

, the numbers of participants for amateur dramatics and

also

Linking Words

table tennis did not have any changes until 2010 but those of participants fluctuated significantly from 2010 to 2020.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

interesting to note that the portion of individuals for musical performances enhanced from 2005 to 2020.

Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on Tue Dec 24 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participation rates
trends
significant increases/decreases
stable numbers
fluctuations
overall participation
comparison
activities
social centre
Melbourne
participants
highlight
report
graph illustrates/demonstrates
20-year period
key features
main features
statistical data
variations

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home beause of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in different culture.

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students . More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.