IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smoker #places
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Medical studies have shown that smoking not only leads to
health
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 for the smoker
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
 for people close by.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
,some people
argur
Correct your spelling
argue
 that smoking is not allowed in public places.I
storngly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 agree that a ban is the most appropriate course of action. To commence with,
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 and foremost reason is smoking is very perilous for
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
health
Use synonyms
.It could
seemed
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
woes
Correct article usage
a woes
show examples
 for
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,most the
person
Use synonyms
 are
addicated
Correct your spelling
addicted
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking .
As a result
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they
Add a missing verb
are victim
show examples
victim
Fix the agreement mistake
victims
show examples
 of
cancers
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cancer
show examples
.
Such
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 as mouth cancer,liver cancer,etc.
Fourthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,if any
person
Use synonyms
 who is smoking it is not only noxious but
also
Linking Words
 it is noxious for others who take
breath
Add an article
a breath
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time.For illustration,
Use synonyms
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who
is take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
cigarate it
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
 is not only effective for them but
also
Linking Words
 which is effective people who
close
Add a missing verb
are close
show examples
 by them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
fristly
Correct your spelling
firstly
,it is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 positive development to
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
 smoking.
due to
Linking Words
 nowadays most of
youngster
Add an article
the youngster
show examples
 having smoking during their
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 time.Like,alcohol,
cigarate
Correct your spelling
cigarette
cigarettes
,
tabacu
Correct your spelling
tobacco
,drugs,etc.
This
Linking Words
 could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
create
anxious
Add an article
an anxious
the anxious
show examples
 situation for their
health
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
college students take more amount of drugs or alcohol.it is not acceptable for their
health
Use synonyms
.
Hence
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,
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should be banned smoking in public places.
As well as
Linking Words
 make some strict rules for
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
is smoking
Wrong verb form
smoke
show examples
 in public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 smoking is very perilous for
human's
Change noun form
humans
show examples
also
Linking Words
 they do
take
Verb problem
not smoke
show examples
 any kind of
smoking
Replace the word
smoke
show examples
.In my opinion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
be banned
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
 smoking and
can be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 some strict rules
again
Correct your spelling
against
show examples
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
is smoking
Wrong verb form
smoke
show examples
 in public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
Submitted by shital20802 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure logical progression of ideas to enhance readability. Clear transitions between points will improve coherence and make your arguments easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your argument. This will strengthen your essay and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Clarify your ideas and arguments by breaking complex sentences into simpler, more digestible ones. This will help in making your point clear and concise.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction that states your stance on the topic.
Task Achievement
You address the health risks associated with smoking, incorporating various perspectives.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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