IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss bot these views and give your opinion.

#people #lives #change #bot
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A few
of
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apply
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individuals slant toward
to spend
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spending
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 their lives doing the same thing and evading
modify
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modification
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. Others, in any case, think that
change
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 is persistently
a
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an
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 incredible thing.
This
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 essay will analyse both perspectives before presenting my own view .
To begin
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 with , they value the routine, predictability, and safety that constant activities and familiar circumstances offer.
This
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 position may be
due to
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 fear of the unknown or a desire for a comfortable zone. For
such
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 people, changes can be perceived as a threat, causing stress and anxiety.
For instance
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,43% of humans are afraid to alter something,and
therefore
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 leave everything as it is.
On the other hand
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, there are those who believe that
change
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 brings new opportunities and perspectives. These individuals are open to new experiences and strive to develop, considering
change
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 as a way of self-improvement. They understand that
change
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 can be a source of inspiration that promotes personal and professional growth.
For example
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,the majority of men and women start to convert from small details and
then
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 transform in coordination, which can greatly help in improving the vision of their lives,as each person wants in their own way. In conclusion,there are a lot of people, who prefer to stay at home,
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however
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however,
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this
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 life is given to
persons
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people
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 only once
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therefore
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, therefore
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,humans should live it trying whatever they want.In my opinion, life will be boring if we don't
change
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 ourselves and leaving everything the way it is is not always a good thing.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples or detailed statistics to support your points. Concrete examples can significantly enhance the impact of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your points are well connected and flow logically from one to another. Some transitions can be improved to create a smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
Try to delve deeper into each viewpoint, exploring not just superficial reasons but also deeper motivations and consequences. This would provide a more balanced analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by outlining both viewpoints and stating your intention to present your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion wraps up the essay nicely, reiterating your stance clearly and leaving a lasting impression.
task achievement
You have addressed both perspectives in the essay, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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