IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In order to be successful at a sport, some think you must be phusically strong while others believe mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Its
Correct your spelling
It's
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 a topic of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great debate that in order to, become a successful
athelete
Correct your spelling
athlete
, physical
strength
Use synonyms
 is important or psychological
strength
Use synonyms
 is of prime importance.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the viewpoint, followed by the opinion.
To begin
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 with, those who advocate that a player should be physically strong assert that continuous body training results in strong muscles, which in return enable a sportsperson to outperform fellow participants at higher levels. To illustrate, world champion sprinter, Usain Bolt trained himself physically for nine years, before his first international event.
Therefore
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, physical
strength
Use synonyms
 is of utmost importance in the
sportspersons
Change noun form
sportsperson's
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 life.
On the other hand
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, people who opine that mental toughness is crucial argue that if a player is psychologically strong, he can make quick adjustments to his techniques and tactics,
according to
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 the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
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.
For example
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, Boxing is a sport in which athletes with higher mental
strength
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 are more successful
such
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 as Mohammad Ali.
Hence
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, mental agility and toughness is a key
ingrediant
Correct your spelling
ingredient
 in making
of
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apply
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a great sportsman. In my viewpoint, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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aspects hold equal importance in sporting events
,
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apply
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 because a strong body can only perform
good
Change the word
well
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 under the command of a strong mind.
Thus
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, it is tough to choose one over the other.
To sum up
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, physical
strength
Use synonyms
 is important to perform best of
the
Change the word
your
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 abilities,
however
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,
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 brain and control over the thought process,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
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 crucial.
Therefore
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, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 an
athelete
Correct your spelling
athlete
 to become great in sports.

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task achievement
Address minor grammatical errors and typos to improve the overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs for enhanced flow.
task achievement
Consider adding more relevant examples to substantiate main points.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Successfully presented both views before stating your opinion, showing balanced handling of the task.
task achievement
Included specific examples such as Usain Bolt and Muhammad Ali, which enrich the argumentation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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