In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year or two between finishing high school and starting university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I am going to argue why it is a good option
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
a
year
Use synonyms
to work and travel after finishing high school.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is very often that school leavers do not really know what they want to study,
therefore
Linking Words
, they
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
studies that they do not really want, and
by
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
passes they end
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
up changing one or two times of studies.
For example
Linking Words
, I had to change
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
three times until I
have founded
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
the one that I really wanted.
Secondly
Linking Words
, taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is probably the opportunity that we have to explore the world and to have experiences that we might never have in our lives, like getting to know new cultures,
cuntries
Correct your spelling
countries
and people
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
all around the world.
In addition
Linking Words
, you could
also
Linking Words
work or do an internship,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
could help you in the future as an
advantege
Correct your spelling
advantage
for your curriculum. And
thirdly
Linking Words
, many people say that taking a
year
Use synonyms
after graduation is a waste of
time
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because you will lose a
year
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
argument has its
dawnfalls
Correct your spelling
downfalls
dawn falls
, because like I said before, practically every
Correct your spelling
university
univestity
Correct your spelling
university
student has changed
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
subject
show examples
subjet
Correct your spelling
subject
show examples
at least
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
ones
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
in their lives,
therefore
Linking Words
, it will not be a big thing if you change one, two or
Correct your spelling
even
eaven
Correct your spelling
even
three times. Maybe does who are from your generation will do the same. In conclusion, taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not a waste of
time
Use synonyms
, because it will let you know
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
better, by having more
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, it will give you
time
Use synonyms
to really think
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
what
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you really want to study.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, if you have the opportunity to take a
year
Use synonyms
, I would suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
do it.
Submitted by samuel.vicuna2003l on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing examples with more specific details. Instead of saying "I had to change of subject three times," specify what those subjects were, how you felt about each change, and how it led to finding your true interest.
coherence cohesion
Ensure accurate spelling and grammar to make your points clearer. For instance, "countries" instead of "cuntries," "university" instead of "univestity," and "advantage" instead of "advantege."
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the purpose and argument of the essay, which provides a good foundation for your response.
logical structure
You have provided a logical progression of ideas, with clear and relevant points made for each paragraph that address the topic directly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and states your personal opinion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Cultural immersion
  • Skill development
  • Real-world experience
  • Financial management
  • Maturity
  • Independence
  • Academic progression
  • Opportunity cost
  • Resume enhancement
  • Cultural exchange
  • Debt accrual
  • Financial burden
  • Networking
  • Self-discovery
  • Professional environment
  • Travel logistics
  • Safety risks
  • Academic momentum
  • Career advancement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: