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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same periods. Summarise the informatio by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same periods. Summarise the informatio by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #periods #summarise #informatio #features #comparisons #revelant
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The data compares the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished; it
also
Linking Words
 details the levels of satisfaction among the
visitors
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 during the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an increase in the total
number
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 of
visitors
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 to Ashdown Museum after refurbishment;
similarly
Linking Words
, there was a meaningful growth in the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who felt very satisfied with the place
,
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apply
show examples
 and a sharp decrease in those who felt dissatisfied. Before
refurbishment
Add an article
the refurbishment
show examples
, the survey results show that half of the
visitors
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 were dissatisfied or very dissatisfied,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
only 15
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percent
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per cent
show examples
 were very satisfied and 30
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percent
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per cent
show examples
 were satisfied After refurbishment, the
number
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 of
visitors
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 rose
approximately
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to approximately
show examples
 20,000
people
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, and those who were very satisfied reached 35
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percent
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per cent
show examples
 and those satisfied reached 30
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percent
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per cent
show examples
. Meanwhile, the
number
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 of dissatisfied
people
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 decreased from 40
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 15
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, but there was a slight increase in those who were very dissatisfied, reaching 15
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In both periods, the
number
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 of
people
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 who did not respond remained the same at 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by mabetancurgu on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, visitors, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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