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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods #information #features #comparisons
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The given chart describes
expenditures
Correct article usage
the expenditures
show examples
 of two nations namely France and Uk on customer items in 2010
Overall
Linking Words
, both the French and the
British
Use synonyms
 spent generously on cars
while
Linking Words
 the smallest category for the French was cameras and fragrance for the
British
Use synonyms
 Looking at the chart
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 detailed perspective.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with accounted for the
British
Use synonyms
 buyer's
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
automobles
Correct your spelling
automobiles
 was 450
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
, which was 50
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 slightly higher than that of the
British
Use synonyms
 and ranked the first in
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
 listed categories.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of the
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 personal
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 regions, the proportion of the
money
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent by the French consumer
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was around 370
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 that of the
British
Use synonyms
 was 20
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 lower. As for the printed media, the customer's
money
Use synonyms
 spending in France and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 respectively 300
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 and 400
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
, it was a distance of 100
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of the France user's outgoing cost was 200
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 slightly higher than that in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, at 130
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the item
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent the least
Correct your spelling
amount
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
money
Use synonyms
 by the French was cameras which occupied 150
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the chart and nearly equal to half of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
counterpart
Fix the agreement mistake
counterparts
show examples
, at 350 thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words british, money, thousands, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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