In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a contentious in so many countries between some
people
who think it is vital to invest huge Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
on
constructing new railway lines for Change preposition
in
high speed
trains among Add a hyphen
high-speed
cities
or spending that on enhancing the existing public Use synonyms
transportation
. I absolutely agree with the latter mindset.
Investing Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
for producing
better Change preposition
to produce
transportation
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
in
cities
can bring benefits to the country. Use synonyms
People
Use synonyms
always
Add a missing verb
are always
concern
Replace the word
concerned
to apply
for work purposes which Change preposition
about applying
is
not in their town but with Change the verb form
are
this
Linking Words
improvement
they can travel more straightforward. Add a comma
improvement,
In addition
, advanced Linking Words
transportation
can bring more tourism. The main issue for Use synonyms
people
who Use synonyms
wants
to make their itinerary is the Correct subject-verb agreement
want
transportation
so by doing that the number of Use synonyms
people
who manage Use synonyms
that is
significantly soar. Linking Words
Although
Linking Words
,
these changes bring better and Remove the comma
apply
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
life
for individuals, the main problem does not Use synonyms
solved
. These days public Change the verb form
solve
transportation
Use synonyms
of
their own Change preposition
in
cities
does not match the advancement of technology and Use synonyms
due to
the fact that Linking Words
using
it is increasing it does not Replace the word
use
get
any improvement. Peoples mostly Verb problem
apply
uses
public transport in everyday Change the verb form
use
life
so it plays a critical role in their Use synonyms
life
and they spend a considerable time on that.
These days as a high expenditure of owning Use synonyms
the
car the majority of Correct article usage
a
people
use public transport Use synonyms
for
their main Change preposition
as
transportation
. I believe that Use synonyms
by
investing Change preposition
apply
money
to Use synonyms
enhancing
the existing Wrong verb form
enhance
one
in Correct pronoun usage
ones
cities
Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
can lead to a better way. Not only upgrade their own Fix the agreement mistake
lives
transportation
to be better but Use synonyms
also
we prevent to cause more pollution to the air. Linking Words
Moreover
spending Linking Words
money
by adding some Use synonyms
improvement
like high speed, cleaning, free wifi, and a convenient place for disabilities can bring comfort to Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
individuals
lives.
In summary, I believe that individuals these days Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
due to
the expenses can not afford Linking Words
owning
a car and mostly Change the verb form
to own
using with
public transport and it plays a main role so by spending Wrong verb form
use
money
on them to have higher speed and cleaner Use synonyms
transportation
Use synonyms
peoples
Change noun form
people's
Use synonyms
life
would be so much comfort and of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
course
we helped air pollution as well.Add a comma
course,
Submitted by helia on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. Use linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
While the essay answers the question, developing specific examples to support your points can improve your task achievement score.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and uses evidence to support this effectively. This will make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of the views, which is in line with the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have successfully included an introduction and conclusion that address the task prompt.
Task Achievement
There is an effort to compare and contrast both viewpoints, which shows a good understanding of the task.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
