Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
present world, most Linking Words
workers
are interested in vacation and Use synonyms
work
-life balance. Some Use synonyms
people
may have claimed that companies should give around a month's vacation to their employees. I personally agree with Use synonyms
this
suggestion because Linking Words
workers
will be satisfied with their workplace when they receive longer Use synonyms
holidays
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, there is a negative effect when employees get short Linking Words
vacations
. I understand that the company will lose profits if Use synonyms
workers
are absent for a long Use synonyms
time
because no one can replace one's Use synonyms
work
completely. Use synonyms
However
, I believe that if Linking Words
workers
don't receive long Use synonyms
vacations
, Use synonyms
then
the efficiency of the workplace will decline. Linking Words
For instance
, most Linking Words
workers
in Korea used to get short-term Use synonyms
holidays
, less than 10 days, and Use synonyms
this
resulted in Linking Words
people
feeling burned out in their workplace. Use synonyms
This
shows that we need enough rest Linking Words
time
to get refreshed during long-term Use synonyms
holidays
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are a few positive effects of giving long Linking Words
holidays
to employees for both individuals and company. Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
workers
will be inspired by experiencing various things Use synonyms
such
as travelling to other countries or visiting art galleries. Linking Words
For instance
, if Linking Words
workers
experience other countries' cultures by communicating with local Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
while
visiting or seeing beautiful exhibitions, Linking Words
this
will likely Linking Words
to
help them to improve novel ideas which they can use at Fix the infinitive
apply
work
. Use synonyms
Thus
, the longer Linking Words
holidays
Use synonyms
people
get, the more Use synonyms
workers
' abilities are improved. Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
people
can discover their Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
while
having longer Linking Words
vacations
. Most Use synonyms
workers
cannot invest their Use synonyms
time
in learning Use synonyms
habits
after Use synonyms
work
. Use synonyms
However
, if they have at least a month for Linking Words
holidays
, they have enough Use synonyms
time
to attend a cultural centre which helps individuals to discover their Use synonyms
habits
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
people
are likely to join a running club or a cooking class in the cultural centre and they will maintain these Use synonyms
habits
even after the vacation. Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
workers
who enjoy their lives after Use synonyms
work
will tend to be engaged in their Use synonyms
work
better rather than Use synonyms
people
who cannot enjoy their free Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
This
demonstrates that if Linking Words
workers
relieve their stress with long Use synonyms
holidays
, Use synonyms
then
the efficiency of Linking Words
work
will improve.
In conclusion, even though there are some adverse effects of having long Use synonyms
vacations
, long-term Use synonyms
holidays
have positive influences on both Use synonyms
workers
and companies. I firmly agree with Use synonyms
this
statement because if individuals feel refreshed and excited on their Linking Words
vacations
, their Use synonyms
work
efficiency will automatically improve.Use synonyms
Submitted by kchengii on
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coherence cohesion
To improve your essay, try to make sure your main points are directly connected to your thesis statement, ensuring every paragraph contributes significantly to your overall argument. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
language
Consider varying your sentence structures and introducing more complex language to enhance readability and demonstrate your linguistic range.
task achievement
You have provided a clear, comprehensive response to the prompt, with well-articulated reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making your argument easy to follow.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.