IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people want to buy famous brand of clothes and cars. What are the reasons? Do you think a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many men and women prefer to purchase
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 categories of clothes and automobiles .
While
Linking Words
 the trend of seeking out luxury
designer-label
Correct your spelling
designer labels
show examples
 can be seen as a reflection of personal choice and economic growth, it
also
Linking Words
 raises concerns about materialism and financial responsibility.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore
firstly
Linking Words
 the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 trend ,
then
Linking Words
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative aspects of it,
eventually
Correct word choice
and eventually
show examples
,it will be finished by involving my own perspective.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,in many cultures, owning luxury
items
Use synonyms
 is synonymous with success and social standing.
This
Linking Words
 desire for status is
further
Linking Words
 amplified by social media platforms, where influencers and celebrities showcase their lifestyles, often featuring high-end brands.The desire for branded
items
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 ties closely to the concept of status and prestige. People may feel a sense of pride when they own
items
Use synonyms
 that are often associated with wealth and exclusivity.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 Kim Kardashian bought a Marilyn
Monroe's
Change noun form
Monroe
show examples
 dress for 5 million dollars, which would be the most unique at the annual Met Gala event.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the pursuit of fashion
designer
Fix the agreement mistake
designers
show examples
 often comes at a significant financial cost, potentially leading to debt and financial instability.There are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of great and budget companies, where you can find cheaper, prettier, and maybe even better quality
items
Use synonyms
 of clothing,
whereas
Linking Words
 others will spend or even borrow a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 for nothing.
For example
Linking Words
,57% of people will want to be friends with someone who has a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 just for their own benefit.Because
such
Linking Words
 people will be sure that their non-real
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 will help with the
money
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,it will help humans to find real friends. In conclusion, the choice of a brand,
therefore
Linking Words
, is not merely a purchase, it becomes a form of self-representation. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 if individuals have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of cash,
then
Linking Words
 it is not a big problem for them to waste so much on expensive cars and dresses .But it's considered absurd to me if someone borrows
money
Use synonyms
 to wear luxury brands.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on further developing your ideas to provide a clearer and more comprehensive argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is linked smoothly to the next with appropriate transition words.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the intention to explore reasons and both aspects of the given trend, concluding with personal perspective.
relevant specific examples
You provided specific examples like Kim Kardashian's purchase and discussions about financial repercussions, which help clarify your points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: