IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people want to buy famous brand of clothes and cars. What are the reasons? Do you think a positive or negative development?

#people #brand #clothes #cars #development
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 like to purchase
well-know
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
brands
Use synonyms
 of clothes and vehicles.
This
Linking Words
 is a widespread tendency that causes rising self-confidence
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 individuals and leads to
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 and bad side of
this
Linking Words
 trend.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many companies which produce
brands
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
set up very detailed marketing strategies for
people
Use synonyms
. They create good opinions about
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 goods that have high
qualty
Correct your spelling
quality
 and rich value. Their main targets are
maintain
Fix the infinitive
to maintain
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 reputation in the market and
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
things
Use synonyms
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 try to buy luxury
things
Use synonyms
 and demonstrate everywhere.
People
Use synonyms
 consider having famous
brands
Use synonyms
increasing
Change the verb form
to increase
show examples
 their status and give them
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
 strength. Even these products contribute own holders for going up self-confidence.
A research
Correct article usage
Research
show examples
 conducted by Lund University showed
people
Use synonyms
 who take lux wristwatches
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are more egoist than others by 20%.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 choose expensive items.
On the other hand
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, using them has
Correct article usage
an impacts
show examples
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 on human psychology.
Thus
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, when
people
Use synonyms
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
 them, they feel more convenient and powerful. Some
people
Use synonyms
 consider themselves valuable and
behaviour
Replace the word
behave
show examples
 rude and impolite.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it has negative sides for individuals,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
 money. Buying
brands
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
damages
Replace the word
damaged
show examples
 budgets.
Becauese
Correct your spelling
Because
, these items cost very high and getting them
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 impossible sometimes. The famous clothes firms explain
this
Linking Words
 with high quality and tolerance.
However
Linking Words
, it is not a reason
obtaining
Change preposition
for obtaining
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
things
Use synonyms
. An investigation by Oslo
Universtity
Correct your spelling
University
, defined
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 30% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 salaries
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
brands
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, purchasing
luxary
Correct your spelling
luxury
things
Use synonyms
 has trouble
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 the budgets of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
infulunces
Correct your spelling
influences
influence
behaviours
Correct article usage
the behaviours
show examples
 and psychology of users.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to provide clearer, more well-organized structure in your paragraphs to ensure each idea flows from one to the next.
Task Achievement
Make sure to expand on your main ideas with deeper explanation or additional examples for fuller coverage of the topic.
Language
Review your essay for grammatical errors and minor spelling mistakes to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, giving it a complete structure.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both reasons for buying famous brands and the negative consequences, covering both parts of the question.
Task Achievement
Specific research examples are incorporated to support points, adding strength to the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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