IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
prefer
to
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apply
show examples
food
according to
Linking Words
 their personal choices.
However
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 should
having
Change the verb form
have
be having
show examples
vegetables
Use synonyms
 because eating
meat
Use synonyms
is create
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
Add an article
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 with our
health
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
First
Add an article
the First
show examples
 and foremost reason is green veggies are more accommodating to our
health
Use synonyms
. Because
vegetables
Use synonyms
are provide
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 different kinds of energy
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 to fight
with
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apply
show examples
bacteria.
As a result
Linking Words
 our
health
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 only
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 feel fresh
in
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at
show examples
 all
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
vegetables
Use synonyms
are protect
Change the verb form
protect
show examples
 our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 without cost.
Fot
Correct your spelling
For
 illustration, if you have
number
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a number
the number
show examples
 of eyes
this
Linking Words
 can
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
 by if you have green
vegetables
Use synonyms
 in your lunch.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
 will be beneficial to reduce your eye number.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
firstly
Linking Words
, eating
meat
Use synonyms
 is not good for our
health
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the shopkeeper
show examples
shopkeeper
Fix the agreement mistake
shopkeepers
show examples
 who selling
meat
Use synonyms
.they do not sell perfect
meat
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
 they have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 knowledge about
meat
Use synonyms
.
As well as
Linking Words
 they buy
meat
Use synonyms
 without any kind of inquiry.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it could
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 viruses which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 developed in animals. When we
are eat
Change the verb form
eat
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 our
health
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should some strict rules
agiant
Correct your spelling
against
a giant
shopkeeper
Fix the agreement mistake
shopkeepers
show examples
 who sell
meat
Use synonyms
 which is not good for
people
Use synonyms
.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
 is good for our
health
Use synonyms
. if any kind of disease
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not right
quich
Correct your spelling
quick
 that time doctors advise
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having
meat
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
meat
Use synonyms
 is
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 helpful for
health
Use synonyms
. But
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of every day
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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harms our
health
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 are having more amount of
vegetables
Use synonyms
 because they give our body protection
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bacteria.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a position on the topic and provides reasons for it. However, ensure that all main ideas are directly related to the prompt. For example, the point about shopkeepers should focus more on the health issues associated with eating meat.
task achievement
Try to develop your examples and explanations more clearly. The mention of meat causing health problems could be supported by specific studies or credible sources to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical order. Start with an introduction, followed by clear paragraphs for each main point, and then conclude. This will help improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay is cohesive by using linking words and phrases such as 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'therefore' where appropriate to connect ideas better.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your position on the topic.
content
You made an effort to provide examples to back up your points, which is essential for supporting your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
What to do next:
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