The rise of social media has affercted personal relation ships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communicating outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction

‎‏Social

media

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is an indispensable part of

people

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's lives. There is a frequently discussed issue of whether social platform influences personal and social relationships, or whether it does not affect them. I strongly agree that the merits outweigh the demerits.

This

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essay will explore

this

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phenomenon in more detail, supported by relevant examples.

Body · 1

‎‏On the one hand, there are a few drawbacks to

platforms

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.One major issue is reducing the face to face communication among

people

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as social

media

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often discourages direct and in-person interactions among individuals.

For example

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, a report by UNESCO showed that there is a lack of connections between

people

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who have the passion to use social

media

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Consequently

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this

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can cause many problems including isolation and depression in society.

Body · 2

‎‏

On the other hand

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, there are undeniable benefits to social

media

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. One notable advantage is that exposing individuals to

platforms

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like Facebook and Twitter

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apply

show examples

definitely can help them to keep in touch with various

people

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from a long distance.They believe that Social

platforms

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enable

people

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to maintain relationships across large distances.

Body · 3

For instance

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, an American Educational Association survey indicated that 90% of the population has a growing preference for using WhatsApp and other apps to enjoy connecting with

people

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Thus

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this

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may stimulate an increase in strengthing the relationship between the nations.

Furthermore

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, Another advantage to be considered is that it helps

people

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to know the current events around the world which contribute to global cooperation. A good example here is a study conducted at Glasgow University illustrated that social platform plays a pivotal role in teaching

people

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about some issues like & climate change.

As a result

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, Countries can work together to solve local and global problems

Conclusion

‎‏In conclusion,

although

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social

media

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has certain challenges. I totally agree that the beneficial impacts of social

platforms

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outstrip the

detrimentalones

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detrimental ones

. By fostering good relations and informing the latest news, We can ensure the importance of social

media

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Therefore

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, the government plays a crucial role in encouraging

people

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to use it.

13570581

Dec 26, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to enhance logical transitions between paragraphs.

task achievement

Strengthen your thesis statement and clearly relate it to each argument made in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Well-developed introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main argument.

task achievement

Relevant examples provided to support arguments, demonstrating understanding of the topic.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

geographical distances
instant communication
life updates
networking opportunities
reconnect
superficial interactions
face-to-face communication
cyberbullying
privacy concerns
spread of misinformation
mental health
social comparison
addiction
digital literacy education
responsible usage
privacy controls

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The rise of social media has affercted personal relation ships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communicating outweigh the disadvantages?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

The government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects for a country’s development and progress. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter: Describe the item you bought and why you need it. Explain why you are not happy with it. Say what you would like the manager to do.