IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Should young people follow older peoples 's example or it is good fir them to challenge older people 's opinion and thougts . Discuss both and give ur opinion .

#people #peoples #fir #challenge #thougts #ur
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Youth
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
people
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
 should follow older
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
foot
Fix the agreement mistake
feet
show examples
 or they need to be challenged In my opinion,
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 should follow older
people
Use synonyms
 who
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are a role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for younger
people
Use synonyms
, Older
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
people
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
 set
Correct your spelling
a great
agreat
Correct your spelling
a great
 example for
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
people
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
 to continue their path in
moral
Change the article
a moral
show examples
 way ,responsibility
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 in recent
studied
Replace the word
study
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 found that 75%grandchildren who
fellow
Correct your spelling
follow
show examples
 their grandparents have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 moral
affect
Replace the word
effect
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 than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 who don't
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
challenged
Wrong verb form
challenging
show examples
 older
people
Use synonyms
 it will give them the carriage to continue their own path,
determination
Correct article usage
the determination
show examples
 to choose what they want in life without any control of older
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
people
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
For example
Linking Words
:in
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
 survey found that 80 %of younger
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 challenged older
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, choosing either to fellow older
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
people
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
 or to challenge them
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will define your future
Submitted by manar2099 on

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Task Achievement
Try to start with a clearer introduction that provides a roadmap for your essay. This will help your readers understand the structure and flow of your ideas better.
Coherence & Cohesion
There are some grammatical and spelling errors that can be improved. For example, 'youth peaple' should be 'young people', and 'the carriage' should be 'the courage'.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more detailed explanations and support your arguments more comprehensively.
Task Achievement
Both sides of the argument are presented and you have included examples to support each perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussed points and provides a clear personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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