IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It’s generally believed that success in fields such as art and sport can only be achieved if a person has natural talent.However,it’s sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to becomea good sports person or artist. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true in
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 era, reaching higher success in sports or arts that natural
hobbies
Use synonyms
 in a person,
while
Linking Words
, others disagree with
this
Linking Words
 trend and say that child can learn to achieve the talent in variety fields. In the following essay, we will explore to discuss both arguments, and I will mention my viewpoints. On the one hand, it is obvious that many public believe children
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
capability
Add an article
the capability
show examples
 in several subjects
such
Linking Words
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 sports and arts
scince
Correct your spelling
science
 when they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 born. To demonstrate, my little sister was singing a song when she was two years old.
However
Linking Words
, she still sings several songs in the school.
Besides
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 example, I remember the study
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
published
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 of Nizwa in 2011 shows that most
springoff
Correct your spelling
spring off
 has
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
 talent in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different fields like music, sports and art.
Therefore
Linking Words
, parents
comfortable
Add a missing verb
are comfortable
show examples
toward
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their children.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are numerous
communties
Correct your spelling
communities
disagree
Correct pronoun usage
that disagree
show examples
 about natural
hobbies
Use synonyms
. In fact, they claim their adults to learn different
hobbies
Use synonyms
 through aday.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the nations boost them to achieve success in these subjects. A clear example,
my
Add a missing verb
is my
show examples
 son hates art in
the
Change the word
his
show examples
 first years of age and
alawys
Correct your spelling
always
 says I can not do it. He was,
therefore
Linking Words
, accomplishing success in drawing the picture of
headteacher's
Correct article usage
the headteacher's
show examples
 school.
Consequentaly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, people can do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 in their life but
trust
Add an article
the trust
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. In conclusion, I am
convidence
Replace the word
confident that
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 has several
hobbies
Use synonyms
 by natural talent.
However
Linking Words
, people should press
theirseleve
Correct your spelling
their sleeve
 to create
super
Add an article
a super
the super
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
As well as
Linking Words
 the government support them to
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
 in the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
 for
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 to get up and share with different companies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed clearly and directly. Your response should ideally explore both views in more detail and give a balanced opinion.
task response
Work on expanding your main points to include comprehensive explanations. This will help in making your ideas clearer.
task response
Include relevant examples that are more detailed and directly support your ideas. Why not try to relate them directly to the main points you are discussing?
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using linking words and phrases to show how your ideas are connected. This will help guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, try to include a more explicit thesis statement and summary of your argument. This will strengthen your structure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps in signaling the structure to the reader.
task achievement
You provide specific examples from your own experience, which adds depth to your discussion.
task achievement
You address both views on the topic, acknowledging the different perspectives.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: