IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fast food has become so popular worldwide that it is destroying the nutritional quality of food. What do you think because of this the traditional food and cooking method is being forgotten? Do you agree or disagree with the statement give reasons for your answer?

#food #quality #method
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Worldwide, the nutritional value of the
food
Use synonyms
 we consume has dropped drastically
as a result
Linking Words
 of the growing popularity of the fast
food
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 culture.
Due to
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this
Linking Words
,
people
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 have forgotten the traditional
food
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 and the cooking
skills
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. I certainly agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, because fast foods are readily available and do not require much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 to be prepared. Primarily,
people
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 have succumbed to the fast
food
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 culture like never before as they do not have to waste much
time
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 and energy
for
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apply
show examples
preparing it. After returning home from work, they are left
very
Change preposition
with very
show examples
 little or no energy to prepare the highly nutritious full-course meals.
Therefore
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, an increasingly high number of
people
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 across the globe, nowadays prefer to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ready-to-cook or ready-to-eat packed
food
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items
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, which allows them to spare more
time
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 for relaxing rather than engaging in the
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time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 kitchen work. To give a clear example, British
people
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 do not prepare their meals daily.
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Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
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 they buy frozen
items
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 for preparing fast
food
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items
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 like burgers. Doing so saves them
time
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 to unwind after a stressful day at work. Secondarily, cooking a full course meal consisting of soup, rice,
vegtable
Correct your spelling
vegetable
vegetables
 gravy and a curry requires a certain level of
skills
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 and knowledge of all the ingredients and steps. Fast foods like pizza, rolls, wraps and
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
show examples
 do not require these cooking
skills
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 and
therefore
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 can be prepared by
people
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 who do not know cooking. Owing to the ease of preparation and not needing any knowledge of cooking,
people
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 have stopped cooking their
traditonal
Correct your spelling
traditional
 meals which have a high nutritional content.
This
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 has led many traditional
food
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 delicacies and cooking
skills
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 to become obsolete. For illustration, preparing
burger
Correct article usage
a burger
show examples
 is much simpler as the required ingredients are limited and are
also
Linking Words
 readily available in the shops.
People
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 have to only assemble them together
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 a burger.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, cooking traditional
items
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 like a curry requires certain mixtures or spices which have to be freshly made at home. To recapitulate, the popularity of fast
food
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 has caused a decline in the nutritious quality of
food
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as well as
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 the age-old cooking methods and traditions to be forgotten. I,
agee
Correct your spelling
agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because of the fact that these fast
food
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items
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 are easy to prepare without possessing any cooking
skills
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vaishnavivardekar2209 on

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task achievement
Ensure your main points are equally supported throughout your essay. While the essay presents valid points, more examples or evidence could enhance the support for each argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are well-connected, but there could be a clearer progression between arguments. Consider using more signposting language to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Expand on the examples used to fully illustrate your points. Ensuring examples are fully developed will help clarify your arguments and demonstrate full task achievement.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that address the main topic effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, making it relatively easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Your response thoroughly addresses the question, providing a complete viewpoint on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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