It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Thao
In
Change preposition
With
the
globalization and the continuous development of modern society, understanding the past Correct article usage
apply
becomes
more important than ever. Wrong verb form
has become
World
Use synonyms
history
is not only a subject that records milestones and eventsUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
a mirror reflecting the development of mankind, civilization and culture. Studying Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
which
helps Correct pronoun usage
apply
students
understand the origins of humanity and equips them with valuable lessons to face recent issues and build the future.
Use synonyms
World
Use synonyms
history
opens the door to diverse cultures, religions, and ideas. When learning about countries, regions, and people around the Use synonyms
world
, Use synonyms
students
are exposed to different ways of living and thinking. Use synonyms
This
helps them develop receptivity , avoiding bias or discrimination. At the same time, Linking Words
this
approach encourages Linking Words
students
to respect differences, understanding that all Use synonyms
peoples
contribute to the big picture of humanity.Fix the agreement mistake
people
Through
Change preposition
Students
students
not only see the Use synonyms
world
from their own perspective ( quan điểm riêng )but can Use synonyms
also
learn a lot of new knowledge. Linking Words
For instance
, The Meiji Restoration ( cuộc cải cách Duy tân Minh Trị ) helped Japan become a powerful empire, escaping the danger of becoming a colony. Linking Words
This
helps them understand that innovation and absorbing foreign cultures can create sustainable development. Linking Words
Or
China's information control policies, including blocking access to international websites, Correct word choice
apply
also
contribute to Linking Words
students
having fewer opportunities to explore information and perspectives from outside.
Use synonyms
World
Use synonyms
history
provides an overview of the important events, civilizations, and periods that have shaped the Use synonyms
world
today. Historical events do not exist in isolation but are always interconnected. Misunderstanding the past prevents them that an event can have lasting effects. Use synonyms
History
teaching in China leads to Use synonyms
students
' lack of understanding of Use synonyms
world
Use synonyms
history
. Many of today’s global problems, Use synonyms
such
as political conflict and social inequality have their roots in the past. Without understanding the historical context, it is difficult to identify the underlying causes and effective solutions.The East Sea issue is a typical example showing that without a correct understanding of Linking Words
history
. Sovereignty disputes ( Tranh chấp chủ quyền ) in the East Sea have been going on for decades, involving countries Use synonyms
such
as Vietnam, China, and the Philippines.
In short, learning Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
history
is a way for Use synonyms
students
to understand where they stand in the timeline, and to understand why the Use synonyms
world
works.Use synonyms
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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses both aspects of the topic. Although you have thoroughly discussed the importance of world history, make sure you also consider the significance of local history. Balancing the discussion would enrich your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
In some parts, your ideas are a bit repetitive. Try to be more concise and avoid reiterating points that have already been explained. This will give you more space to introduce new arguments or evidence.
introduction and conclusion
The introduction effectively sets the stage by showing the importance of understanding the past in the context of globalization and societal advancement.
task response
Your examples, such as The Meiji Restoration and East Sea sovereignty disputes, are effective in illustrating your points about the impact of historical events on current global issues.
coherence and cohesion
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, which aids in readability.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.