IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, there are many tasks at home or work that have been done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development？

#tasks #home #work #robots #development？
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It is true that the developments in the
tasks
Use synonyms
 performed by
robots
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 have been significant for our society. They are capable of doing many
tasks
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 at home and at work, and
this
Linking Words
 has raised a number of concerns about
this
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 development. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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this
Linking Words
 is a positive development. The
robots
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 have been designed
for
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to
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 help
people
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 with their
tasks
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. In fact, nowadays it is possible to purchase a robot which can help you with your home
tasks
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,
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning the kitchen, playing with children, and bringing the groceries to the home . I consider that it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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very significant progress for the quality of life of citizens,
for
Linking Words
example
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example,
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people
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 with
discapacities
Correct your spelling
incapacities
, who don’t have the strength to do that kind of
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 and don’t have the help of any familiar.
Robots
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 can
also
Linking Words
 do a variety of mechanical jobs, allowing the owners of an industry to improve their productivity
while
Linking Words
 spending less money
for
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on
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 human resources.
This
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 has been experienced in many manufacturing firms, especially in the vehicle industry, where a huge part of the chain production is made by
robots
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.
On the other hand
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, the entrance of
robots
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 in daily activities may be negative for
people
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,
for
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example
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example,
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 because of the risk for
people
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 without any professional degree of
lose
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losing
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 their jobs. In fact,
robots
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 require less coordination than human workers,
as well as
Linking Words
 lower costs associated with their work, representing a great rivalry for non-specialized workers. Another issue related to
this
Linking Words
 development is the lack of regulation related to incidents with humans, remarking that
although
Linking Words
robots
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 could be a great help for humans, they could occasionally make errors and
provocate
Verb problem
cause
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 damage to individuals.
For example
Linking Words
, considering driverless cars,
this
Linking Words
 technology could affect the security of
people
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 inside these cars in case of crashes, but they are still more reliable than humans
due to
Linking Words
 their lower number of incidents. In conclusion, despite the negative implications of the proliferation of robot usage, the positive ones could bring a huge positive change in human
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by mishelguaman64 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider maintaining consistency in terms and language. For instance, be consistent in referring to tasks done by robots as either 'home tasks' or 'household chores'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between ideas and paragraphs are smooth by using a wider array of transition words and phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Address potential counterarguments more thoroughly to reinforce your position. This will demonstrate critical thinking and depth in your task response.
task achievement
Try to explore more detailed and varied specific examples to bolster your arguments and make them more relatable to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a good understanding of the topic with logical organization of ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
The argument that robots enhance quality of life and productivity is well-supported with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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