IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many major cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings. some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park lands for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued by some that numerous urban towns are facing a housing shortage as they cannot provide specific land for constructing more buildings. The government trust that the worry could be solved by landing park lands for residential
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
, in light
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 place would be
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
show examples
 use for
human
Add an article
a human
show examples
 standard
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 some might disagree with the notion;
however
Linking Words
, I completely agree. Not only because of
Individuals
Change noun form
Individuals'
Individual's
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 needs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 because of
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 of
businesses
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 essay will enunciate how these factors justify my opinion. There are multiple factors behind the
constructing
Replace the word
construction
show examples
residential
Change preposition
of residential
show examples
 area .
Firstly
Linking Words
,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 need to have a home in that
city
Use synonyms
 where they can avail every facility. As in numerous modern
cities
Use synonyms
, human
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to own their home or having
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
show examples
 in rent .
for example
Linking Words
, Islamabad the capital
city
Use synonyms
 of Pakistan is a modern urban
city
Use synonyms
 and everyone
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to own
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 house in Islamabad to have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 living standard but
due to
Linking Words
 limited land for housing, individuals are unable to avail the opportunity to live there.
Thus
Linking Words
, it's a good concept to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 a house in a traffic land. It will be beneficial for
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 as well for people.
Secondly
Linking Words
, apart from the individual need for
house
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
,
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 of
businesses
Use synonyms
 is another matter of
this
Linking Words
 case.
As if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
 there is a
more
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
 population in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
urban
cities
Use synonyms
 there would be more need for basic services.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Kuwait
salmiya
Change the capitalization
Salmiya
show examples
city
Use synonyms
, the development of
businesses
Use synonyms
 is on
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 scale as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other
cities
Use synonyms
 because there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more residential areas and
standard
Correct article usage
the standard
show examples
 living of humans.
Hence
Linking Words
, it's
also
Linking Words
 essential for
businesses
Use synonyms
 to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
more houses in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a city
cities
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 for their development In conclusion, the above evidence made it
vivid
Correct word choice
clear
show examples
 that, the requirement of persons
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 in urban towns and the growth of
businesses
Use synonyms
 make it vital to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
more homes in major
cities
Use synonyms
.In
foreseeable
Correct article usage
the foreseeable
show examples
 future, there will be more
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
parking in
basement
Add an article
the basement
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 issue
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
also
Linking Words
 be resolved.

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coherence cohesion
Clarify key points in each paragraph to strengthen arguments. Try not to mix examples with different ideas.
task achievement
Provide more in-depth examples relevant to the argument. The examples should directly support your points.
coherence cohesion
A cohesive transition between ideas will make your essay easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer’s position.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument (individual needs and business growth) are discussed.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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