IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie charts show the spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
The pie charts
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
show examples
 the expenses of
people
Use synonyms
 in seven different categories in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 for the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1971 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that in the
year
Use synonyms
 1971,
people
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of their income on Food and
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 on Computers,
While
Linking Words
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2001, spending on Cars and Computers
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surged significantly. In the
year
Use synonyms
 1971,
people
Use synonyms
 allocate
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
66
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of their funds
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Food and Cars, with 44 and 22
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
, expenses
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Petrol had remained approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for 1971 and 2001. In 1971, individuals
like
Wrong verb form
liked
show examples
 to invest three times more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Books than
Computers
Change preposition
in Computers
show examples
, with
6
Correct article usage
a 6
show examples
and 2 ratio. In
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2001,
people
Use synonyms
 had contributed abundant money on Cars and very little on Food as compared to
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1971, with 43 and 14
percent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2001, individuals who visited
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled. For the use of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 in 2001, has surged to 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which was six times more than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
 times.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, year, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "surged" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: