Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think it has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #workplaces #work

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In the modern era,

technology

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is an integral part of most workplaces.

Technology

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has significantly enhanced worker's productivity.

However

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, I strongly believe that relying too much on

technology

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has a negative impact on the

company

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because it poses significant security concerns. Undoubtedly, modern

technology

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has enhanced the way people work. Workers can boost their

overall

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productivity by implementing

technology

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in their day-to-day activities.

Furthermore

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, boring and repetitive tasks can now be completed in an instant by using modern software which reduces the amount of effort employees need to put in.

This

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also

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beneficial for the

company

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because it could massively reduce the human error

that is

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usually encountered when performing a lot of tasks.

For instance

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data

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scientists utilise calculation software

such

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as Microsoft Excel to help them analyze huge amounts of complex

data

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in a short period of time.

However

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, I believe that if a

company

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depends solely on

technology

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for storing

data

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, they are more likely to face cyber-security threats.

This

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is because corporations that store all of their important information on the cloud are more prone to hacking, which could lead to adverse ramifications.

For example

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, in Indonesia, there have been numerous

data

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breaches that happened in the past decade that harm not only the

company

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

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the personal life of their workers.

This

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dangerous act leaked the private information of their employees and

also

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caused corporations to lose millions of dollars. In conclusion,

although

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modern software has allowed many workers to become more productive, I believe that completely relying on

technology

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for

Submitted by danaradilaksono on Fri Dec 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider strengthening the conclusion by explicitly summarizing the main points and providing a final thought or opinion.

task achievement

Address the task more completely by considering both possible advantages and disadvantages of technology, not just the negatives.

task achievement

The essay clearly describes how modern technology enhances productivity in the workplace.

task achievement

The use of a real-world example (data breaches in Indonesia) effectively illustrates the point about security concerns.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction and two main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

efficiency
productivity
software applications
high-speed internet
communication
collaboration
geographical boundaries
remote work
flexibility
work-life balance
skill gaps
job displacement
automation
artificial intelligence
dependency
security risks
data breaches
cyber attacks

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Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think it has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out the history of the house or building they live in What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people believe that the best way to deal with heavy traffic in city centers is for privately owned cars to be banned, others however, think this is an unrealistic solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.