*Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. *Why might this be the case? *What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Recently, humans
tends
to start a private job rather than working for an institution. Change the verb form
tend
And
Correct word choice
This
this
could be Linking Words
due to
many reasons Linking Words
such
as Linking Words
markedly
Correct article usage
a markedly
increasing
in unemployment or financial returns from Replace the word
increase
the
private Correct article usage
apply
work
. Use synonyms
However
, there are negative effects Linking Words
could
result from it as using Correct pronoun usage
that could
large
amount of cash to start. In Change the article
a large
this
Linking Words
passage
Add a comma
passage,
i
will discuss the disadvantages of private Change the capitalization
I
work
.
Nowadays, the unemployment crisis all over the world resulted in financial problems Use synonyms
affected
Wrong verb form
affecting
the
families , Correct article usage
apply
because
of that Correct word choice
and because
the
people tend to expand their income Correct article usage
apply
through
working in private jobs. In Change preposition
by
details
the expanding Fix the agreement mistake
detail
in
population in recent years left humans without jobs and in order to Change preposition
apply
provids
the life essentials, added to that the low income that the Correct your spelling
provide
campanies
could give to the individual so working for Correct your spelling
companies
there
own will increase Correct your spelling
their
there
returns, Replace the word
their
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
brooki
Cookie Correct your spelling
brookie
campany
started her own business as Correct your spelling
company
home
bakery at Add an article
a home
year
2020 during COVID pandemic because she lost her job and latter on she succeeded and open her own bakery shops.
Change the article
the year
However
, Linking Words
self
Add a hyphen
self-work
work
is financially Use synonyms
is
a great idea Unnecessary verb
apply
also
Linking Words
have
some issues. In Correct subject-verb agreement
has
further
Linking Words
explanation
some Add a comma
explanation,
projected
need huge cash Replace the word
projects
of
many that the person can not afford. Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, the risk of loss. Linking Words
Furthermore
, starting Linking Words
self
Add a hyphen
self-work
work
Use synonyms
needs
Verb problem
takes
long
time Add an article
a long
to begin
showing any returns Linking Words
not
Rephrase
apply
like
working for organizations with permanent Change preposition
unlike
salary
and that Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
put
on the person Wrong verb form
puts
big
burden and stress for wanting to Correct article usage
a big
success
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
succeed
self employment
is a good opportunity Add a hyphen
self-employment
of having
Change preposition
to have
huge
income in the future in comparison to working for companies Correct article usage
a huge
however
the risks should be in consideration.Linking Words
Submitted by dr.wessam_jamal on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the coherence of your arguments by using linking words and phrases effectively to connect your ideas better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on strengthening the logical structure of your essay so that the ideas follow a clear and logical order, making your argument more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas and examples to present a more complete response that addresses all aspects of the task.
Task Achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented, focusing on clarity and depth in your arguments to enhance understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion which encapsulate the main idea of the essay effectively.
Task Achievement
Good use of a real-life example to demonstrate the point about self-employment opportunities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.