IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society.

#families #people #effects #society
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In the past ,families have deep meaningful connections. nowadays
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 lost
therefore
Linking Words
 ,in
this
Linking Words
 essay we will argue the reasons why the relationship isn'
t
Use synonyms
 like what used to be in the past and the effect on communities
.long
Correct your spelling
Long
 distance between the kids and
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 parents the distance is an issue of your parents live in another state it will take
an hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
hours
an hour
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 to arrive to their house it you wouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 rather
going
Change the form of the verb
go
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
 ,children want to be
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
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 on themselves they don'
t
Use synonyms
 want anyone to control their life they want to make their own
decisons
Correct your spelling
decisions
 .
for example
Linking Words
 in recent
studieds
Correct your spelling
studies
 found that 75% of
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 who
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 far away from their parents have connection issues .
additionally
Linking Words
, the effect of lost connections on community we will higher number of divorced couples because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 have any
rolemodels
Correct your spelling
role models
 they will look up to
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 marriage . Another reason the grandchildren have no connections with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 grandparents
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thet
Correct your spelling
that
 we wouldn'
t
Use synonyms
bulit
Correct your spelling
built
 any families
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the future. In conclusion, the relationships between families are really important if we
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 it we will lose the connection with any relationship that we have .
Submitted by manar2099 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay. This will help in creating a smoother flow between sentences and ideas.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that you provide specific and varied examples to support your main points. Try to include statistics, anecdotes, or real-life examples where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
Structure the essay more clearly by having a clear thesis statement in the introduction and topic sentences for each paragraph. This will make your main arguments stand out more clearly.
task achievement
To achieve clarity in task response, aim to express your ideas with more precision and depth. Using diverse vocabulary and varied sentence structures can help convey your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining the structure of the response.
task achievement
The topic is effectively introduced, and the main issues are highlighted, showing a solid initial understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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