IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The line grath compares the amount of books borrowed in June, July, August and September in 2014 from four rural libraries, and pie chart illustrates percentage of books, by sort, wich were adopted during that time.

The line grath compares the amount of books borrowed in June, July, August and September in 2014 from four rural libraries, and pie chart illustrates percentage of books, by sort, wich were adopted during that time.
#line #grath #amount #books #june #september #four #libraries #percentage #sort #wich #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart displays the amount of
books
Use synonyms
 that were borrowed in June, July, August and September 2014 from four countryside libraries, and the pie graph illustrates the proportion of
books
Use synonyms
, by sort, that were borrowed over
this
Linking Words
 duration.
Overall
Linking Words
, in West Eaton and Church Mount, there was increased slightly the number of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed over four months.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in the Ryesilp
region
Add a comma
region,
show examples
 there is a gradual decrease in borrowed
books
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Sutton Wood village obviously fluctuated. The highest type of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed was Fiction in comparison to the other types. In the Ryesilp region, there is a gradual decrease in borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 from 300
books
Use synonyms
 in June to around 170
books
Use synonyms
 in September. Notably, Sutton Wood village fluctuated in June and July rising slightly
then
Linking Words
 in August decline dramatically. The most popular type of book borrowed was Fiction with 43%,
while
Linking Words
 the second type of book borrowed was Biography with 19%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of Science and History
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed around a quarter
Submitted by khalidhxhd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 68%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: