Urban environments are becoming healthy suggest caises and solutions

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Nowadays, (the) urban environment has become increasingly associated with health issues,

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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is why many people argue that they are less healthy

Linking Words

then

Replace the word

than

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ever before. One of the main causes of

this

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unhealthiness is air pollution. Increasing vehicle and

factories

Fix the agreement mistake

factory

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(factory emissions) emissions have led to

decline

Add an article

the decline

a decline

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Change preposition

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air quality.

Additionally

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, noise from traffic and construction influences

Change preposition

apply

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people’s sleep and

overall

Linking Words

well-being. Another crucial factor is

sedentary

Add an article

the sedentary

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lifestyle

that is

Linking Words

always promoted by urban living. With the advancement of technology, a lot of people choose convenience over physical activity and sitting in one position for a long time,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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affects the health of the spine and back. Several measures can be taken to alleviate the situation.

Firstly

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, governments should prioritize the development of green spaces,

for

Linking Words

example

Add the comma(s)

example,

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parks or recreation areas. It not only

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

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the air quality

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

Linking Words

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

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physical activity among

sitizens

Correct your spelling

citizens

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

urban environments face significant health challenges,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

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by actively addressing these problems, people can ensure a healthier future for themselves.

khotkina.maFri Dec 27 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to substantiate your points. For instance, when discussing the development of green spaces, mentioning successful examples from certain cities can enhance your argument.

coherence cohesion

While your essay maintains a clear structure, strive to improve the logical coherence between ideas by using more transitional phrases or words.

language accuracy

Ensure consistency in singular/plural forms and article use to enhance sentence clarity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clearly defined introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your argument.

task achievement

You effectively address the task by identifying main causes of urban unhealthiness and suggesting relevant solutions.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

169 words

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Urban environments are becoming healthy suggest caises and solutions

Word Count

Time: 40 minutes In many countries, shops open for longer hours daily every week. What is the negative or positive effects of this on the shoppers and local community. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

Some people argue that when children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, the children will be sucessful in life. Some think that it will lead to negative pressure on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.