In some countries, the average body weight is increasing, health and fitness levels are decreasing, what are the causes for this problem and what measeure can be taken to prevent this ?

#countries #body #weight #health #fitness #levels #measeure

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In some nations, the specific

bodies

Fix the agreement mistake

body

show examples

weights are

rose upping

Add a hyphen

rose-upping

show examples

.in

constrat

Correct your spelling

contrast

health and fitness levels are reducing.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore how

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

and no physical

activity

Use synonyms

can be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the leading causes of

this

Linking Words

concern, and how through diet

plan

Fix the agreement mistake

plans

show examples

and energetic exercise,

this

Linking Words

problem can be curtailed There are multiple causes of increasing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

body weight .

Firstly

Linking Words

, unnecessary

junk

Use synonyms

foods can be labelled as the root cause of

this

Linking Words

problem. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nowadays individuals have more

junk

Use synonyms

foods in

thier

Correct your spelling

their

meals

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, those people

how

Correct word choice

who

show examples

have to

eaten

Wrong verb form

eat

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

in the

working place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

,they probably have

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of having something healthy

meals

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

junk

Use synonyms

foods can be considered as the fueling force behind

this

Linking Words

issue.

Secondly

Linking Words

, apart from

junk

Use synonyms

meals

Use synonyms

, the decline in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical

activity

Use synonyms

in today's generation is

also

Linking Words

a major contributing factor in

this

Linking Words

menace.

As numerous

Correct word choice

Numerous

show examples

work can be done with the help of technology .

For instance

Linking Words

,if individuals need

any thing

Correct your spelling

anything

show examples

they suddenly order it online rather

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

shop it

Change preposition

on thier

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

own.

Hence

Linking Words

, lack of physical

activity

Use synonyms

can be considered as the breeding ground of

this

Linking Words

concern.

However

Linking Words

, there are certain viable measures, that can be taken to curb to reduce weight and health problems . The primary solution I believe would be

diet

Correct article usage

a diet

show examples

plan. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there should be

schedule

Add an article

a schedule

the schedule

show examples

of having limited

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

and more healthy

meals

Use synonyms

Change preposition

during

show examples

the week.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, energetic exercise can

also

Linking Words

be an effective solution. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

any work should be done actively and immediately as well

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

should try to

done

Change the verb

show examples

several work by

walk

Wrong verb form

walking

show examples

. To

sum-up

Correct your spelling

sum up

show examples

, even though fast

food

Use synonyms

and lack of physical

activity

Use synonyms

in individuals are extremely widespread in many countries,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I believe through having healthy

meals

Use synonyms

and energetic appearances ,

this

Linking Words

problem can be tackled.

Submitted by nidarif855 on Fri Dec 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining sentence structures to improve clarity and coherence. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased or contain minor grammatical errors.

task achievement

Develop ideas more comprehensively. At times, arguments and examples could be expanded to fully explore the topic.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical transitions between paragraphs and ideas within paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main ideas effectively.

task achievement

The essay addresses both causes and solutions, appropriately focusing on the prompt's requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

298 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that science education should be the most funded field to contribute to the development of the country. I partially agree with the statement and I will suggest reasons for my stance.
6.5
band
You have just received a credit card statement from your bank. The statement lists a number of expensive purchases that you are sure you did not make. Write a letter to the bank manager. In the letter: • Introduce yourself. • Explain that you did not buy the items listed. • Say what you would like the bank to do to fix the problem
My name is Vitor, I am a Thai monk. l have been living in London for 3 months. As you know, I have been using a credit card for 2 months. I am writing this letter to you because l have a problem with my credit card.
7
band
With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?
The human population is exploding at an alarming rate, requiring more resources to build residential areas and factories. As a result, natural beauty venues are being diminished to accommodate human demands. This issue could be deterred by enforcing stringent punishments and robust judicial efforts. In this essay, I will also discuss the benefits of preserving these locations.
6.5
band
Is forcing students to study hard at school a good idea? Agree or disagree?
Since education has become a crucial part of human's lives, many argue about the pressure which is created by forcing them to have an excessive load of studying. In my point of view, I believe that the increasing of those pressures on the school and university is a good thing.
<4
band
countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This line graph displays some informaitons about the population with percentage in four Asian countries staying in cities between 1970 to 2020, and the perdictions for 2030 and 2040.

In some countries, the average body weight is increasing, health and fitness levels are decreasing, what are the causes for this problem and what measeure can be taken to prevent this ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

Is forcing students to study hard at school a good idea? Agree or disagree?

countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.