You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school asked for your feedback on this course.
Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school.
• describe what you enjoyed about the course
• say how much cooking you’ve done since the course
• suggest another cookery course you’d like the school to offer

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir/Madam, I hope you are doing well. The purpose of writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

letter is to provide you
feedback
Change preposition
with feedback

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
regarding a short cookery course, which I did at your institute. First and foremost, the facility has well-known instructors that can help students to improve their practical skills.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

enjoyed in-class interactive assignments, which helped me a lot to gain more experience in cooking. After completing a cookery course, I started to help my mother
to
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
prepare meals for our family and
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that, my mother feels proud of me. Fortunately, during my holidays, I
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

started a small tiffin service for students.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I would like to suggest you start a baking course. As in the present time, youngsters are more interested towards baking cookies, cakes and many more. Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope my provided suggestion will help you. Yours faithfully,

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to address the recipient correctly. If their name is known, use it instead of 'Sir/Madam'.
task achievement
Consider expanding more on how the course influenced your cooking post-completion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the letter.
task achievement
The letter effectively uses a formal tone appropriate for addressing a course director.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph discusses a distinct point, contributing to clarity and organization.
coherence and cohesion
The letter opens and closes with appropriate salutations and sign-offs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: