IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many cities and urban areas around the world, crime is increasing. What is the cause of this? How can governments help to prevent the crimes?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is evident that there are
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
increasing numbers of
crime
Use synonyms
 in many cities and urban
areas
Use synonyms
. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 matter,
however
Linking Words
, the
governments
Use synonyms
 can give some solutions to prevent the crimes.
Use synonyms
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, the number of crimes is significantly increased in many nations and urban
areas
Use synonyms
 for several reasons.
One
Use synonyms
 reason is that people are affected by the action on TV and social media platforms. People nowadays spend most of their time on electric screens to work, communicate with others and relax. They can see some videos with violent
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can cause negative consequences on their reaction. They can repeat bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 like trends and become a
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their parents'
careness
Correct your spelling
care
. Parents are busy with their work and
household's
Change noun form
household
show examples
 tasks, they do not have enough time to spend with their kids to consult
as well as
Linking Words
guid
Correct your spelling
guide
 them to avoid bad things.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Correct your spelling
children
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
 are easily appeal by bad people
Use synonyms
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand,
governments
Use synonyms
 can prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 various effective ways.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government can set severe regulations and laws to limit bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the government will put someone in prison if they try to hit someone and
be
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 property theft.
This
Linking Words
 can reduce
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate in urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 can give laws to schools so that children are taught when studying at school. Teachers can help children to analyse the bad situations or reactions which can make students become a
crime
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are several reasons why the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate is
becoming increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 in many countries and urban
areas
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 can give some solutions to
Correct your spelling
tackle
take
takle
Correct your spelling
address
 the problems

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand explanations with more specific details and examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduce linking words or phrases to improve the logical flow between ideas.
general
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors for clarity and precision.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction succinctly outlines the main ideas that will be explored in the essay.
complete response
The essay addresses the given task by discussing both the causes of crime and possible government interventions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic factors
  • lack of education
  • employment opportunities
  • drug and substance abuse
  • gang activities
  • organized crime
  • inadequate law enforcement
  • corruption
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • rapid urbanization
  • overcrowding
  • digital crimes
  • cyberattacks
  • social and cultural factors
  • government initiatives
  • policies
  • strengthening law enforcement agencies
  • investing in education
  • skills training
  • socio-economic conditions
  • community engagement
  • awareness
  • implementing crime prevention strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: