IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You and some friends ate a meal at a restaurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you were very pleased with the food and service. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter: -give details of your visit to the restaurant -explain the reason for the celebration -say what was good about the food and the service.

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my satisfaction with your
restaurant
Use synonyms
. Indeed, my friends and I had been talking about your shop over the past few weeks. And, we were at your
restaurant
Use synonyms
 yesterday around 9pm.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I would appreciate you for your service. We were celebrating our friend's birthday. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 one of my friends would have liked to go to your
restaurant
Use synonyms
. So, we reserved at your Sushi
restaurant
Use synonyms
. He has liked Sushi since he went to Japan
last
Linking Words
 April.
That is
Linking Words
 why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 He could not wait to eat sushi again.
In addition
Linking Words
, at that time he turned 20 years old. So, that day was very special for us.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would say the food and the service were so good.
For example
Linking Words
, they sang the birthday song for my friend. And, some people served a birthday cake for him for free. I hope you can maintain the quality and the hospitality. Yours sincerely, Kazuya Nakagawa

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task response
Answer all three parts more fully. Add more clear details about the visit, the party, and the good food and service.
task response
Use a more natural formal tone. For example, say 'I would like to thank you' not 'I would appreciate you for your service.'
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some short lines start with 'And' or 'Because', which makes the flow weak.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make the letter easier to follow.
task response
You covered all the main points from the task.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are mostly easy to follow in order.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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