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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two graphics display the statistical presentation of
obesity
Use synonyms
 suffered by teenagers living in the United States based on their ethnicity.
While
Linking Words
 the first chart represents the male population and the second chart separately illustrates females, both charts compare the data related to
obesity
Use synonyms
 in 2004 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of people who are obese, regardless of gender, increased in the given years, and
this
Linking Words
 was more obvious in specific ethnic groups. Regarding the surges in
obesity
Use synonyms
 rate, non-Hispanic black teen girls stood out the most with a 13
percent
Use synonyms
 increase from 2004 to 2014.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 were non-Hispanic black males and Hispanic boys whose rate rose by twice the initial data in 2004, which were 11 to 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and 13 to 27
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in other groups, which are non-Hispanic white girls and boys and Hispanic girls, there was only a 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 increase in the population suffering from
obesity
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. From
this
Linking Words
, it can be seen that ethnicity plays a crucial role in an individual's likelihood of suffering from
obesity
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words obesity, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prevalence
  • Obesity rates
  • Ethnicity
  • Demographics
  • Gender disparity
  • Ethnic groups
  • Statistical increase/decrease
  • Trend
  • Comparative analysis
  • Proportion
  • Percentage
  • Rate of change
  • Decade comparison
  • Fluctuation
  • Consistent pattern
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