IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
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The supplied bar chart illustrates the number of
hours
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 each tuter spent teaching in various types of educational
centers
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centres
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 in four countries in 2001.
Overall
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, in 2001 the most number of
hours
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 of teaching were spent on upper secondary school in the U.S.A.
Moreover
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, teachers spent the second highest quantity of
hours
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 on lower secondary training.
However
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, not as many
hours
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 were spent teachers on teaching in primary
centers
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centres
show examples
 as in upper secondary schools.
To begin
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, in 2001 Japan's
expending
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spending
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 of
times
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time
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 on teaching
of
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at
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 three types of educational
centers
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centres
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 approximately the same
with
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at
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 600.
Therefore
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, Spain and Iceland had exactly the same
indicaters
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indicators
 of
hours
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 spent teaching in upper secondary schools above 900.
While
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,
U.S.A's
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U.S.A.'s
 masters spent
the
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apply
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1200 of times on teaching in upper secondary places, which is the highest indicator amount of countries.
Whereas
Linking Words
, teachers in Spain spent
as
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apply
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about 600
hours
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 in primary schooling as in
U.S.A
Correct article usage
the U.S.A
show examples
 in 2002.
Submitted by nurymbetova.aray on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly states what the data is about and what the essay will discuss. Summarizing the main trends in the introduction can help orient the reader.
logical structure
Your essay should have clear logical transitions between ideas. Consider adding more linking phrases to guide the reader between different parts of the essay.
supported main points
Make sure to provide clear evidence or examples to support your statements. This will strengthen the task achievement score.
coherent ideas
The essay attempts to explain the data by country clearly, comparing hours spent across different education levels in multiple countries.
complete response
You have recognized the main trends in the data, such as the higher number of teaching hours in secondary schools.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
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