Some people think that quality of life is less closely related to money than to the amount of free time they have. What is more important for good quality of life ? What other factors do you think are important?

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Some individuals believe that the
quality
Use synonyms
of
life
Use synonyms
is not about cash but it is more related to the period of free time they have . In my way of thinking the most
essetial
Correct your spelling
essential
factor to a good
life
Use synonyms
is having
Correct article usage
a stong
show examples
stong
Correct your spelling
strong
show examples
bond with your family .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are other things that can make your
life
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happier
instead
Linking Words
of having a huge wealth and in
this
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essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will talk about them .
Firstly
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, a lot of wealthy people have a poor
quality
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
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of life
show examples
and
propebly
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probably
the reason is that their being alone .
For instance
Linking Words
, if you have a strong
relationshep
Correct your spelling
relationship
with your family and you have them on your side to support you
this
Linking Words
is much
precious
Correct quantifier usage
more precious
show examples
than money because many people in
this
Linking Words
world get
seperated
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separated
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
their relatives the first they turn 18 and do not have the chance to get in touch with them for good .
Secondly
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, another
factors
Replace the adjective
factor
show examples
to lead you
for
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to
show examples
the best
life
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quality
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is
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
free from any type of illness or sickness and
be
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being
show examples
able to sleep
comfertably
Correct your spelling
comfortably
without taking pills . To illustrate ,
huge
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a huge
show examples
crowd suffers from diseases
such
Linking Words
as cancer , AIDS and many
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
they are not able to live their
life
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normaly
Correct your spelling
normally
and they could end up
dieing
Correct your spelling
dying
in the end . So if god
bless
Correct subject-verb agreement
blesses
show examples
you with
this
Linking Words
thing you should be
greatfull
Correct your spelling
grateful
and
thankfull
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thankful
thankfully
.
In addition
Linking Words
, if you have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of friends
help
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to help
show examples
you
improving
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improve
show examples
your skills or
escaping
Wrong verb form
escape
show examples
your daily
stresse
Correct your spelling
stress
stressed
stresses
this
Linking Words
can make
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
life
Use synonyms
better . In
conclusin
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, in my opinion , having your family and friends beside you and being able to live your
life
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in
Change the article
a usuel
show examples
usuel
Correct your spelling
usual
way in the main factors to
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hooralahmadx4 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with well-crafted transitions.
language
There are a few minor spelling and grammar mistakes (e.g., 'propebly' instead of 'probably', 'relationshep' instead of 'relationship'). They don't heavily impact the message, but correcting them will improve readability.
structure
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that all main points have adequate support with relevant examples.
task achievement
Make sure to fully develop some of the ideas with additional details to strengthen your arguments.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which is very important and fulfills this requirement.
task achievement
The main point that quality of life is not solely dependent on wealth is clearly expressed.
task achievement
You address additional factors beyond money that contribute to quality of life, which is a good interpretation of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Quality of life
  • Free time
  • Financial stability
  • Work-life balance
  • Self-care
  • Mental health
  • Burnout
  • Social connections
  • Emotional support
  • Community
  • Environmental factors
  • Green spaces
  • Pollution-free
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Life purpose
  • Companionship
  • Recreational activities
  • Cultural activities
  • Health care access
  • Education
  • Societal context
What to do next:
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